


Mike's Bizarre Adventure

by Doluk



Category: Blink-182, Green Day, Linkin Park, System of a Down (Band), The Offspring
Genre: Alright sorry I'll stop shitposting with the tags now, Beating, Brad's kneecaps get dededestroyed, Broken Bones, Bullying, Chester breaks like 2 bones and doesn't give a fuck, Chuck E. Cheese's, Fist Fights, Gen, Hospitals, Revenge, The Adventures of Mike Hunt 2: Sexy Revengeance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-27
Updated: 2019-07-28
Packaged: 2020-07-23 08:00:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 22,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20004940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Doluk/pseuds/Doluk
Summary: Mike Shinoda and friends travel around California and semi-accidentally get caught up in the affairs of other bands. Fun.Complete with a subplot of Green Day and The Offspring just trying to go downtown and have a good time but Linkin Park keeps getting in the way.





	1. What Are We Doing Here?

**Author's Note:**

> DISCLAIMERS AND SUCH
> 
> This fanfiction is purely for entertainment and humor purposes. Nothing more, nothing less. There is lots of swearing and some dirty jokes, so I'd advise you to turn back now if you have a problem with either of those.
> 
> I am aware that Chester hung himself in the summer of 2017. I truly don't intend to upset anyone or come off as insensitive by continuing to write him into my dumb fanfiction. The main reason I do this is to help keep alive his memory. The other reason is that he was the face of the band, and really doesn't have a "replacement" besides Mark Wakefield. I feel like writing a Linkin Park fanfiction without him just...wouldn't work. Really, it was him and Mike that made the band. So without him (or Mike!), I feel like there would just be nothing to write.
> 
> Again, I'm sorry if it comes off as insensitive in any way. That is not my intent. I don't intend to degrade, demean, belittle, or make fun of his life. This is just my personal way of helping to keep alive Chester's memory, I suppose. If this upsets or offends anyone, I apologize.
> 
>   
> Also another note: I began writing this earlier in 2019. So the funny epic haha memes I put in here were still relevant at the time.
> 
> If you just wanna see the cameos and whatnot, here's a quick thing letting you know which chapter(s) each band is in:
> 
> Linkin Park - Well all of them, obviously (except 15 because that's a bonus scene)  
> Green Day - 2, 7, 8, 13, 15  
> The Offspring - 7, 11, 13, 15  
> blink-182 - 8  
> Limp Bizkit (it's really just Fred though) - 6  
> System of a Down (just Serj and Daron) - 6, 15

> **Put to rest, what you thought of me.**
> 
> **While I clean this slate,**
> 
> **With the hands of uncertainty.  
>  **
> 
> **\- What I've Done** _(Minutes to Midnight)_

"Hey Chaz," Mike Shinoda said, glancing over at where Chester Bennington was staring at the sky. His bandmate looked over at him. "Huh? Yeah?"

"What are we doing here?"

"I uh...I don't know." Chester looked away, glancing at where their other bandmates were walking around. Mike had no idea how or when they had wound up here. But as of right now, the 6 of them were in a mostly-empty parking lot, around mid-afternoon. Despite being California, it was a little bit chilly today, being close to the end of fall and all, so they were wearing jackets and hoodies. Well except Dave/Phoenix/whatever he goes by now Farrell, who wanted to show off his tattoos.

"Well, I'm bored," Mike commented, shoving his hands in the pockets of his hoodie.

"Yeah man, me too." Chester had gone back to staring at the sky. He continued to stare up at it for another minute or two before looking back over at Mike. "We could go get some food or something."

"Hey," Brad Delson butted in, walking over from where he'd been standing next to Joe Hahn. "We could go bully Green Day again."

"Oh shit that's always fun," Mike chuckled.

"Can't we just leave them alone?" Rob Bourdon whined, looking a little bit scared from where he was sitting on the ground, knees brought up against his chest. Mike glanced over at him, feeling a little concerned. "Oh right," he realized. "You uh...still got shit going on with their drummer, don't you?"

"Really? Still?" Brad asked, glancing over at Rob. "You still haven't paid him back yet?"

"He's _insane,_ " Rob hissed in reply. He pulled his knees tighter against his chest, shivering a little.

Mike scoffed, walking over to Rob and grabbing his arm. "Come on, Rob," he said as he pulled him up to stand. "He's like, 5'6. We can handle him for you."

"B-But he's got a baseball bat..."

"Yeah, and we have Brad," Mike retorted as he gestured over at the lead guitarist, who was standing next to Chester with his arms crossed. He looked kind of intimidating like that. "Come on, just stay in the middle of us."

Rob didn't seem very convinced, but stuck next to Mike anyway. The rapper/singer sighed to himself as the drummer clung onto him while he walked back over to Brad and Chester. "Okay, sure, let's go. Then we can hit a restaurant or some shit on the way back."

"How are we gonna find them though?" Phoenix deadpanned, walking up to join them. Joe followed him.

Mike shrugged, then glanced at the other frontman. "Chester?"

Chester offered a shrug as well.

"I mean, last I heard, they live in Oakland," Brad pointed out, arms still folded across his chest. "So we could probably find them there."

"And we're in L.A.," Joe also pointed out, giving Brad a dubious look.

"Oakland is fucking huge," Mike replied. "They could be anywhere. They might even be out on tour for all we know."

"Hang on I'm following them on Instagram," Phoenix spoke up, pulling out his phone and scrolling on it. "That other Mike's _always_ posting on there."

"Alright, uh..." Mike trailed off, looking around absently at the band members. "Technology's great. What a time to be alive."

"Found them!" Phoenix announced. "They're all home. We just have to get their addresses." He looked up at his bandmates, gave a thumbs up, then went back to his phone. "Oh yoo-hoo, Google~!"

"Is this legal?" Joe asked, now giving Mike the dubious glance. Brad scoffed in reply. "We're famous...but we're not celebrities...Whatever. Anything's legal for us now."


	2. I Think Chester Bennington's On Your Roof

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bullying Billie Joe at 2pm (Gone Wrong) (Chester Gets Knocked Off a Roof) (Brad's Knees Get Obliterated) (Not Clickbait)

> **I will never know myself until I do this on my own.**
> 
> **And I will never feel anything else, until my wounds are healed.**
> 
> **I will never be anything 'til I break away from me.**
> 
> **I will break away, I'll find myself today...  
> **
> 
> **\- Somewhere I Belong** _(Meteora)_

"FBI OPEN UP!"

Mike flinched as Phoenix pelted rocks at the door. "Oh come on," he muttered. "Keep it down. He'll never answer the door if he knows that it's us." He stepped further back, being mostly hidden behind Phoenix. Chester was at the back with Rob and Joe, while Brad stood up front with Phoenix. After all, if Billie Joe just opened the door and saw Mike and Chester, he'd probably slam the door in their face.

It was about 15 seconds until Billie opened the door, looking mildly pissed off, as he usually did. He glanced up and down at Brad, then Phoenix. "Yeah? Do I know you?"

Mike walked out from behind Phoenix, smirking. "Hey there, pop-punker."

"Oh for god's sake." Billie rolled his eyes, scoffing and stepping out of the doorway before shutting it behind him and crossing his arms. He was dressed as he normally was, with the only difference being a slightly oversized sweater. Looked kind of cute on him, actually. "What. What do you want now."

Chester slowly snuck around the rest of his bandmates, getting behind Billie, who was preoccupied with glaring up at Mike. Chester then jumped on him, giving one of his Chester-screams. Billie flinched at the spook, stumbling and grabbing onto the side of the doorframe to catch himself.

Brad, Phoenix, and Joe laughed while Rob just hid uncomfortably behind Joe.

"Yeah, okay, I get it," Billie muttered, slowly steadying himself and standing up straight. Even so, he was still shorter than all of the Linkin Park members. "What the fuck do you want?"

"Hey, that's not nice language," Brad teased, stepping forward to give Billie a shove. The shorter male hissed at him, obviously trying to contain his temper.

"Nice place you got here, Joey," Mike commented, looking up at the mansion that he lived in. "And we only had to walk a mile up your driveway to get here."

"You weren't invited," Billie retorted, still with that fierce glare.

Mike ignored him as he went on, taking in his home some more before going on. "Not much of a punk rocker if you're living in a mansion, now are you?"

"What the fuck do you want?"

"We were just coming by to see how Zero's doing," Phoenix snorted, giving Billie a light shove. "Y'know, your cat? How is he?"

"Oh come on. He died over 10 years ago," Billie growled at him. "Don't act like you don't know that."

"And who's fault was that?" Mike asked, giving another smirk. Billie glared over at him with a hiss. "It's not like I shoved him in the dryer! Can you just tell me what the fuck you want?!"

"Your virginity." Phoenix poked at the shorter man's ass.

"What? Phi...come on," Mike groaned as Billie turned to hiss up at Phoenix, looking like he was blushing a little. He was certainly hissing a lot though. Like a cat. Such as Zero. You know, the one that got caught in the dryer, and wasn't just random lyrics from Deadbeat Holiday. Let's all remind Billie some more.

"Alright alright, sorry," Phoenix apologized, backing up. But not before giving Billie a slap on the ass.

"That's gay," Brad mumbled, narrowing his eyes at the other guitar player in his band. "What? He clearly likes it!" Phoenix replied, darting his eyes towards Billie. 

"He clearly likes it!" Joe repeated. 

"He clearly likes it!" Mike nodded quickly.

Brad rolled his eyes. "Yeah, uh...I guess." He glanced as he at Billie, who was blushing noticeably now, although still looked pissed off. 

"Oh god, should we hang up a rainbow flag?" Joe snorted.

"Come on. We're going too far," Mike spoke up, stepping towards Brad and Phoenix. "I don't think we're going too far," Brad replied, giving Mike a slightly condescending look. "There's a difference."

"Where the fuck is Chester," Billie suddenly asked quietly, glancing around. He was answered by the iconic Chester-scream, and they all slowly looked up to find Chester standing on the roof. Somehow.

"Get the fuck off there before I call the police!" Billie snapped. "And you know I fucking hate cops!"

"What, you're not scared, are you?" Brad taunted, leaning forward to give Billie another shove. He stumbled a little, falling against Joe, who shoved him back towards Brad. It became evident that Joe, Phoenix, and Brad were slowly closing in on him. Mike blinked, watching them for a few seconds, then stepped forward to close a gap that Joe had left.

Billie didn't look as pissed off now, instead looking uncertain and a little bit scared. He'd occasionally hiss and turn around to shove someone back, but between being surrounded by four of them, three of whom kept shoving him around, it wasn't very easy to do.

"Aww, what's the matter, Billie?" Mike taunted verbally, folding his arms with a smirk. "Gonna cry?"

"Gonna piss your pants, maybe?" Brad teased.

"Maybe shit and cum?" Phoenix added.

"S-Stop it!" Billie hissed, giving Phoenix a hard shove, only to be shoved roughly by Brad. He stumbled a little, almost losing his balance and falling into Joe. As he looked up, Mike could see that Billie almost _did_ look like he could cry right now. "Get off me!"

Mike was about to taunt him some more, but froze as he heard voices behind him, slowly getting closer.

"Well I think that'd depend."

"Oh yeah, uh-huh...wait what's that noise?"

"Fans?"

"No, no it sounds like...oh shit."

The voices had gotten closer, and Mike turned around to see Billie's two bandmates had showed up. He flinched as they saw him and the rest of Linkin Park - but that wasn't what made him flinch. It was the fact that Tré had a baseball bat for whatever reason. Remembering Rob's warning, he turned around and quickly nudged Joe and Phoenix, who were both on either side of him. "We gotta go, like _now_."

"Why-" Joe had started to ask, but froze as Tré yelled a "HEY WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!"

"Oh shit," Phoenix whispered. Him and Joe stared at Tré and the other Mike for a few seconds, then turned and fucking bolted, leaving just Brad and Mike with Billie, who had obviously been getting shoved around.

Brad shifted a little, looking uneasy as Mike backed away. "Uh, hey guys. We were just here to - um...see if you wanted to come get food with us. We were just messing around with you, right, Billie?" The rapper asked, glancing down at the short man, who glared up at him with utter hatred.

He spun back around as he heard Brad yelp, and saw that Tré had just whacked him in the kneecaps with a fucking baseball bat. "Hey!" Mike yelled. "What the fuck was that for-" He was cut off as the other Mike gave him a hard shove, making him fall down onto the pavement.

Groaning, he tried to get up, but landing on the pavement like that really did a number on your back and ass. He could only lay there as Brad collapsed to the ground next to him, shouting a blue streak at Tré, who just looked the other way and ignored him.

He watched as the other Mike went over to Billie, talking to him quietly and helping him stand up straight. Tré watched them for a few seconds, absently swinging the baseball bat at his side, and then glancing up towards the sky. He blinked several times, looking confused as he turned around and stared up at the roof. Then he spoke. "Uh...Bill, you ain't gonna believe this, but I think Chester Bennington's on your roof."

"Yeah, I know," Billie hissed, still pressed against his own Mike. "I fucking know. I'm gonna call the fucking cops if he doesn't get down."

"No need. I'll take care of him." Tré smacked his baseball bat, then somehow climbed up onto the roof. Then again, if he could climb that golden globe thing, he could climb anything.

"CHAZ WATCH OUT!" Mike yelled up at his bandmate. "THEIR PSYCHOTIC DRUMMER HAS A BASEBALL BAT!"

"Psychotic drummer?" Tré echoed, glancing down at Mike from where he was on the roof. "That's a new one. Thanks!" He smiled, then looked back over at Chester. "YO BENNYTON!"

Chester turned to glare over at him, giving a loud "CHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWW!!", or however the fuck you spell out a Chester-scream.

Tré held up his baseball bat threateningly. "Animal control's here, 'Chaz'."

Mike winced, closing his eyes. He couldn't watch this.

He closed his eyes tighter as he heard Chester scream again, followed by the whack of the baseball bat. He opened his eyes to see Chester dangling off the edge of the roof, staring down fearfully at the ground. He looked back up at Tré, who simply shouted "Long live the king!" and whacked Chester in the face, making him lose his grip and fall off the roof.

Mike gasped, pushing himself up to stand despite the searing pain down his back. He jumped up and grabbed Chester just before he hit the pavement, which made them both fall down hard. Mike groaned in pain as Chester just screamed again.

"Shit...thanks, Mike," Chester mumbled, groaning in pain as he tried to push himself up to stand, but fell back on his knees. "Anytime, Chaz." Mike tried to give a finger-gun, but hissed in pain as his knuckles cracked. He was pretty sure he'd just bent a finger backwards, too.

"Now _THAT!_ " Tré yelled, swinging the baseball bat over his shoulder. "Is what _I_ call, a victory royale." He dropped the bat, pumping his arms and doing the Fortnite default dance.

"Billie what the hell is going on here?"

Mike looked back over to see that a woman had come outside, and after taking one look at Chester and Mike groaning on the pavement, Brad holding his kneecaps, and Tré dancing on the roof, looked inquisitively at Billie, who responded with a "Linkin Park. It's always fucking Linkin Park." He was still leaning against the blond Mike, who had an arm wrapped around him.

"I thought you were going to get a restraining order?" The woman, who Mike assumed was his wife, went on.

"Yeah, well, fuck the law," Billie retorted. His wife just rolled her eyes. "Okay. Just be home by dinner." She turned around and started to go back inside, but stopped to look up at Tré again, who was still defaulting on Linkin Park. "And get him off the roof please."

"I'll try to," Billie called after her.

"Come on, Joe and Phoenix are waiting," Rob mumbled, and Mike suddenly felt the drummer pulling at his arm. "Get up, we gotta get out of here."

In all that chaos, Mike had just forgotten that Rob existed. He must have run off to hide somewhere earlier. Such was life though; Rob was always being forgotten. He was the quietest member of the band, after all.

"You too, Chester...oh Brad..." Rob trailed off with a sigh. "We gotta get out of here, before-"

"BEFORE WHAT?"

Rob froze at the sound of Tré's voice, looking like his blood had just frozen. He slowly looked up at the roof to see the person he feared most glaring down at him. "ROB BOURDON IS THAT YOU? IS THAT FUCKING ROB?"

Rob crouched lower, looking like he was trembling. "Mike we need to _go_ ," he whispered.

"I can't get up," Mike groaned, trying to push himself up. "I just broke Chester's fall from off the fucking roof, and Brad got his kneecaps smashed."

"Well, you gotta get up!" Rob replied quietly, looking desperate. "I can't drag all three of yo-OOOUU AAAAHH!!" He broke off with a scream as he was suddenly tackled very hard, landing on the pavement with an audible thump. Mike just blinked as he watched Tré pin Rob down. Did Tré really just jump off the roof and land squarely on Rob? Seriously, what the fuck. Hadn't Travis Barker made a comment about Tré being retarded? Mike was starting to believe that now.

"Yo, get off him!"

"Leave Rob alone!"

Mike sighed in relief as Phoenix and Joe came back, both of them shoving Tré off of Rob. Phoenix grabbed Rob, who looked fucking terrified, and pulled him quickly down the driveway. Joe grabbed Mike's wrist and pulled him up to stand, then did the same to Chester. "Go go _go!_ " He yelled, giving both of the frontmen a shove down the driveway. Mike was surprised that he was able to stand, and looked over to see Chester looking equally as surprised and confused. He glanced behind him to see Joe helping Brad up, who groaned in pain as he tried to put pressure on his legs.

Tré made no move to attack any of them, instead standing there and watching their panicked retreat neutrally. Billie was still huddled against Mike, who also still had an arm wrapped around him. Kind of odd that the bassist had said nothing this entire time, and hadn't really done anything to diffuse the situation, either. Well, that's what Tré with a baseball bat was for.

"I said _go!_ " Joe hissed, and Mike stumbled as he was given another shove. He blinked, realizing that Chester had already run off after Rob and Phoenix. "Right, right, uh...Brad you good?"

"My fucking kneecaps are _obliterated!_ " Brad snapped. "Yeah, I'm great!"

"Here, I'll help," Mike said, using an arm to reach under Brad's and support his weight. Joe supported him from the other side, and they started to limp unceremoniously down the driveway.

"YOU CAN'T FUCK WITH THIS BAND!" Tré yelled sarcastically after them. Mike turned around to glare at him. "Shut up. Just shut the fuck up."

That response earned him a flying baseball bat to the face, which made him stumble and fall over. Now, due to the fact that Billie's driveway was kind of like a giant hill (let's just say for plot convenience), Mike started to roll down it. Joe tried to grab him by the shirt, but it was too late. Mike was already beyond his reach, and started to roll uncontrollably down the driveway hill. Because that totally made sense, especially when he rolled past a confused Chester.

It must have been about 4 minutes until Mike finally stopped rolling, although it was only because Phoenix had managed to grab his shirt and stop him. "Thanks," he gasped as the bass player pulled him up to stand. He glanced over at Rob. "How you doing?"

"I wanna go home," Rob whined.

"Later," Mike promised. "We said we were gonna go get food after this, remember?"

"Uh...I think Brad needs a hospital first," Phoenix pointed out. 

"Nah," Mike waved dismissively. "He'll be fine. Just gotta walk it off."

"If you say so..." Phoenix trailed off with a sigh, rolling his eyes. "I guess we'll just meet up at the bottom of the hill and figure out where to eat, then."


	3. Brad You Don't NEED a HOSPITAL

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ignoring Brad's pleas for a hospital, the rest of Linkin Park tries to figure out where they should go to eat.

> **I want a flood, I want an ocean,**
> 
> **To wash my confusion clean.**
> 
> **I can't resolve this empty story.**
> 
> **I can't repair the damage done.  
> **
> 
> **\- Rebellion** _(The Hunting Party)_

"Fuddruckers," Mike stated firmly, banging his fist on the ground. The six of them had grouped up at the end of Billie's ridiculously long driveway, and were sitting in a circle on the ground. The problem now was that nobody could agree on a place to eat.

"I want Taco Time!" Phoenix argued.

"What about Burger King?" Joe asked flatly. "Maybe Chester can still get us a discount."

"Yeah, cause I worked there when I was a teenager," Chester replied with an irritated sigh, closing his eyes. "Hilarious." Then he suddenly opened his eyes, screaming "I WANT FUCKING CHICKEN TENDIES!" His bandmates, of course, were more than used to the demonic screeches that came out of him, so none of them were really phased whenever he screamed.

"There's food at the hospital," Brad pointed out, still holding a knee in pain. He'd managed to "walk off" the pain in his right knee, but kept insisting that the left one was broken.

"Oh my god Brad you don't _need_ a _hospital_ ," Mike groaned, rolling his eyes. Eyes narrowed exasperatedly, he glanced around his bandmates until his gaze settled on Rob, who had been silent the entire time. "What about you, Rob?"

"Huh?" Rob glanced up, blinking. "Uh...I don't care."

"You've gotta have some place in mind," Mike insisted. "Come on, where do you wanna go?"

Rob appeared to think for a moment, rubbing his chin. "Hmm...well, there is _one_ place I've always liked going..."


	4. Anything's Edible If You're Brave Enough

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang goes to Chuck E. Cheese where Joe gets sick from pepperoni pizza, Chester tears a ligament in his hand, and Brad whips a basketball at children.

> **Put me out of my miser-REEEEEE!**
> 
> **Put me out of my miser-REEEEEE!**
> 
> **Put me out of my...**
> 
> **Put me out of my...  
>  **
> 
> **FUCK-ING MIS-ER-REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...**
> 
> **\- Given Up** _(Minutes to Midnight)_

_Chester seriously held that scream for like 17 seconds, too._

"I can't believe we wound up in a motherfucking Chuck E. Cheese," Joe deadpanned. Mike had "insisted" (more like demanded) that they listen to Rob, and the band had gone to eat at Chuck E. Cheese upon his request.

"Yeah, I know," Brad muttered, glaring at the little kids that were running around everywhere. "I fucking hate children."

"What? Since when?" Mike asked, glancing over at his long-time friend.

"I just hate children," Brad repeated, arms folded on the table as he continued to glare at the kids playing. "Fuck children...not literally!" He added indignantly when Mike gave him a weird look.

"Yo where's the pizza?" Phoenix asked, sitting up and leaning over the booth as he looked around to see if their pizza was there yet.

"Wait a minute where the fuck did Chester go." Mike looked around frantically, realizing that his foil had just disappeared.

A loud Chester-scream from the direction of the ballpit answered him, and he gave an exasperated groan, putting his elbows on the table and running his hands through his hair. Following that, two kids ran past their table, screaming in fear.

"Oh shit," Phoenix stated, getting off the booth and sitting normally as he watched the kids run off.

"Pizza time," Rob announced as he walked up, placing a cheese pizza and a pepperoni pizza down on the table.

"I thought they were supposed to get it for us though-" Joe began, but was cut off as Chester screamed and ran over, jumping over the booth and accidentally kicking Joe in the face as he grabbed 2 slices of cheese pizza, then settled himself between Joe and Mike.

"OW!" Joe complained, rubbing his face. His nose looked like it was bleeding a little.

"Sorry," Chester mumbled before proceeding to shove two slices of pizza down his throat.

"What is this shit?" Brad mumbled, picking up a slice of pizza and watching the plastic-looking cheese slide off of it. "Is this _edible_?"

"Anything's edible if you're brave enough," Phoenix replied, grabbing a slice of pepperoni pizza for himself.

"I'm not eating this," Brad huffed, putting the pizza slice down. Phoenix shrugged, and Joe leaned forward to grab the pepperoni slice that their guitarist had just put down. "More for us then."

"Uh, yeah...I'm gonna have to go with Brad on this one," Mike admitted as he observed the chemical-looking thing that was supposed to be pizza. "I'll just get a coffee or something on the way home."

"You're missing out," Chester remarked, already shoveling down a third and fourth slice.

"Uh-huh, yeah," Rob added absently, eating his own slice of cheese pizza like a normal human being and not just shoving it down his fucking throat like Phoenix and Chester were. Joe had already eaten the one slice he'd taken from Brad, and was looking a little uncomfortable, one arm wrapped around his stomach as he rubbed his face repeatedly.

"Uh...you alright, Mr. Hahn?" Mike finally asked after watching Joe rub his face and groan lowly to himself for a couple minutes. The turntablist slowly pointed at the pepperoni pizza. " _No._ "

"Hey guys check out how hard I can throw this basketball!" Chester called over to them loudly, and Mike looked over to see that he was in the basketball area. Little kids ran around him, jumping up and trying to grab the ball, but Chester was holding it up high so they couldn't reach it.

Once he had the attention of all his bandmates, Chester yelled and whipped the basketball at the hoop. It slammed off the backboard, flying off and hitting the wall, where it bounced off and hit another wall. It was soon enough flying around the Chuck E. Cheese like a green shell in Mario Kart. The children all yelled and shouted, chasing after the ball, but it was impossible to catch.

Mike blinked several times, his brown eyes looking around erratically to follow the ball bouncing everywhere, always being trailed by a crowd of children. The other four watched the ball fly around as well, Rob eventually getting dizzy and turning around to grab the table with a groan, swaying a little.

A scream from Chester made Mike break away from staring at the ball to look over at his bandmate. The fact that Chester was screaming wouldn't have normally grabbed his attention, had it not been a scream of pain. Mike scooted off the booth and ran over to him. "Oh shit Chaz you alright?!"

"I just tore a ligament!" Chester screamed, squeezing his hand.

"Uh...oh shit uh...Jesus you accident-prone goof...should we-"

"AAAAAAHHHH!"

"We need to get to the hospital!" Mike called over to the rest of the band, panicking slightly. Brad scoffed at him. "What, so _now_ you decide to go to the hospital?!" He gestured sharply at his busted-up knee.

"Okay we'll get your knee checked out too but we gotta _go!_ " Mike grabbed Chester by the wrist (on his uninjured hand, of course), running back over to the table. He grabbed Joe's arm and pulled him out of the booth while the other three got up on their own, although Brad needed a little help from Phoenix and Rob. Joe stumbled a little, still not looking so great from the pizza.

As Brad stood up, a random kid ran straight into him, making him stumble and twist his injured knee. He yelled in a mixture of pain and rage, glaring down at the kid. The kid, of course, didn't look sorry in the slightest - he didn't even seem to realize he'd run into Brad.

"Hey come on leave the kid alo-" Mike had started to say, but his plea was cut short as Brad suddenly grabbed the basketball that had been about to fly past him.

"Brad what are you-" Joe never got to finish his question, as Brad screamed "YOU LITTLE SHIT I'LL SHOW YOU TO RUN INTO PEOPLE!" and whipped the basketball straight at the kid's face.

"BRAD!" Mike yelled as the kid fell over and began to scream and cry.

"ANY OF YOU BITCHES WANT SOME OF THIS?!" Brad demanded as he picked up the basketball and held it up threateningly, glaring over at where most of the kids were staring at him in horror.

The kids just screamed.

"Come on Brad we gotta get out of here," Mike said lowly. "Like, _now._ " He glanced up to see that Chuck E. Cheese himself had come out of the storage room, and was staring creepily in their direction. "We'll get you and Chaz to the hospital."

"Wait but what about the pizza?" Rob whined, but the other 5 ignored him as they rushed out of the Chuck E. Cheese. The drummer slowly turned back around to look at the pizza that had been left behind. Well, after seeing what the pepperoni pizza did to Joe, he grabbed what was left of the cheese pizza, shoving it all into his jean pockets like it was spaghetti and then running out after his bandmates.

After they were gone, Chuck E. Cheese went over to the table and licked up the remains of the pepperoni pizza. Delicious.


	5. Joe's Throwing Up In The Waiting Room Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Anyway, your visit today will be $200 even though I just told you both what you already know."

> **So I let go, watching you,**
> 
> **Turn your back like you always do.**
> 
> **Face away and pretend that I'm not,**
> 
> **But I'll be here 'cause you're all that I've got.  
> **
> 
> **\- Faint** _(Meteora)_

"You tore a ligament in your hand," the doctor reported, clicking his pen and giving an affirming nod.

"Yeah I know that!" Chester snapped. "What're you gonna do about it?!"

"Chaz, chill," Mike murmured, nudging his shoulder against Chester's. The scream-singer just grumbled to himself, hunching over and continuing to mutter as he sat on the doctor's bench thing.

The doctor shrugged, looking down and scribbling stuff on his notepad.

"What about my knees?" Brad asked, shifting from where he was sitting in a padded chair. Because it totally made sense for Chester, the guy with a torn ligament in his hand, to be sitting up on the bench while Brad was struggling to even stand up on his own.

"Well..." the doctor trailed off, then shrugged. "To put it simply, your knees are fucked."

"Great," Brad growled. "That's fucking great. I swear to god if I ever see that fucking midget cocky Fortnite-playing asshole again I'm gonna fucking _strangle_ him."

"You wanna go back later?" Mike asked quietly, moving closer to Brad so that they could talk quietly to each other. "I mean, not for nothing, but I'm still kinda pissed about getting our asses handed to us back there."

"Oh yeah, definitely." Brad nodded stiffly. "We should try to get those two when they're leaving Billie's, and I think the 6 of us can handle that...fucking...idiot." He finally conjured up a mediocre insult.

"Well, yeah, assuming they stayed at Billie's, and they leave together," Mike admitted. "But what about Mike? He's gonna be there too."

"Do you really think he's gonna do anything?" Brad scoffed. "He didn't do anything last time."

"Well, yeah, cause he didn't need to. But if the 6 of us suddenly jump them and go after Tré, don't you think he's gonna defend him?"

Brad just blinked very slowly up at Mike. The rapper/singer continued to stand there, commiserating, then quietly admitted, "Yeah...maybe not. But we should prepare for that anyway."

"When you guys are done discussing attacking people..."

Mike and Brad glanced back over at the doctor, who eyed them coolly. "Anyway, your visit today will be $200."

"For WHAT?" Brad asked loudly, angrily gesturing at his knees. "YOU JUST TOLD US WHAT WE ALREADY KNOW!"

"Are you even a doctor?" Chester asked flatly.

It was then that the door of the doctor's room was suddenly kicked open and Rob ran in. "Guys Joe's throwing up in the waiting room again!"

Mike groaned, looking down and rubbing his face.

"Again..." Chester repeated. "As in, like, this has happened before?"

"Oh yeah, back in high school," Rob nodded. He spoke quietly, as he usually did, and went over to Brad.

Brad grabbed the arms of the chairs, groaning as he stood up. "Mike can tell you about it."

Rob hooked his arm under Brad's, helping him limp off to the waiting room. Chester blinked, watching them go, then looked back over at Mike. "Well?"

"We went to a football game at our school," Mike started, leaning against the counter. "And Joe and Brad had this _great_ idea to drink as much Gatorade as they could. Rob, Phi, Mark and I wound up taking Brad to the ER for bloating, and Joe started throwing up everywhere in the waiting room. Really fun times."

"Holy shit," Chester scoffed, then chuckled.

"I still want my $200," the doctor interrupted. Chester, who had just been chuckling casually, turned to glare at the doctor suddenly with an enraged glare. "CHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWW!"

The doctor flinched, his eyes going wide as Chester screamed at him. He blinked once, twice, then noped the fuck out of there, leaving Chester and Mike alone in the room. The two of them, Mike still standing and Chester sitting, stayed there together in a bit of an awkward silence for a few moments until Mike finally glanced up at him. "We should uh...go help Joe."

"Yeah, good idea," Chester agreed, sliding off the bench. "We gonna go push around Green Day some more after this?"

"Oh yeah," Mike answered, already heading out the door and down the hallway that led to the waiting room. He turned around and glanced at Chester, who had started to follow him. "Except this time," he added, smirking. "It's _revenge_."

"A'ight." Chester was silent for a moment as they walked. Before they entered the waiting room, he turned around and glanced at Mike. "Can we get some food first though?"

"What?" Mike stared confusedly at him. "Chaz we _just_ got pizza."

"Well I want more pizza then!"

"Chester-"

"PIZZAAAAAAAAA!" He did that Chester-scream, earning him a couple "what the fuck" looks from random doctors and nurses that were walking by and/or standing in the general area.

"Alright alright, fine!" Mike backed away, holding his hands up defensively. "Can we get something besides pizza, though?"

"Well uh...what do _you_ want?" Chester shoved his hands into his pockets as his voice returned to his normal speaking tone; the slightly high-pitched, quiet and breezy type where he talked a little too fast. The way he talked before they performed P5hng Me A*wy live in Texas, if you need a reference.

"...There's a Burger King down by that alley," Mike answered after thinking for a moment. "We could stop there on the way back-" He broke off when he realized that Chester was glaring at him. "What?"

"Really fucking funny, Mike."

"What?!"

"I can't get us discounts, you know." Chester folded his arms across his chest.

"I...wasn't asking for-"

An angry Chester-scream. More looks from doctors and nurses.

Mike sighed, rubbing his face in exasperation. "Alright, Chaz. Brad and I are hungry though."

"Fine." Chester rolled his eyes, turning to open the door to the waiting room. "We'll go to Burger King then. Fuck Joe I guess." Because eating fast food after throwing up everywhere was always a great idea.


	6. We're Just Gonna Eat Then Go Beat Up Green Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fred Durst exists. Serj Tankian and Daron Malakian violently steal Linkin Park's Burger King food after they walk miles to eat at a park. Lots of screaming ensues. Serj has a knife. Rob gets aggressive while trying to make Mike and Brad eat something. Oh, and Chester fucks up everything by revealing their plans to beat up Green Day.
> 
> "Eat the fucking pizza before I SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR THROAT!"

> **In a minute, you'll find me.**
> 
> **Eyes burn me up.**
> 
> **You say you'll never forget me,**
> 
> **But the lies have piled up.  
> **
> 
> **\- Rhinestone (early version of Forgotten)** _(Xero)_

"2 chicken sandwiches and fries for 5 bucks!" Phoenix exclaimed as the six of them walked out of Burger King with all their food. "Hell yeah!"

"I can't believe you got three whoppers," Mike mumbled to Chester, who just smiled and ignored him. "You ate like half the fuckin' pizza."

"So where are we eating this?" Brad asked, stopping before he stepped off the curb. Joe and Phoenix went past him, walking out across the parking lot and making the traffic stop for them.

"I uh...I don't know." Mike shrugged. He hadn't thought about that. It was kind of Brad's fault that they couldn't just eat inside the Burger King though - after that Chuck E Cheese incident, he was kind of worried about Brad being around more children. Holy shit that made him sound like a pedophile even though he was literally the opposite. Well...Mike hadn't ever seen a child get a table thrown at their face, and he was pretty sure he never wanted to.

"Lincoln Park," Chester said quietly. Mike turned to glance at him with a look. A dubious look of confusion was the best way to describe it. "What?"

"Lincoln Park," Chester repeated. "I like it there."

"That's in Santa Monica." Brad said what Mike had been about to. "We're in Oakland."

"Yeah, like, a couple cities over," Chester replied dismissively. He was speaking pretty quietly for some reason. His tone was light and breezy.

Mike had already pulled out his iPhone, and was searching up "oakland ca to santa monica ca". When it came up, he sighed exasperatedly. "According to Google it'd take us about 136 hours to walk there. It's 405 miles, Chester."

"Alright alright." Chester rolled his eyes. "We can swing over to Arizona, then."

"Hey Mike," Brad spoke up, glancing down at his own phone. "So I just looked up 'la to oakland' and it said it'd have taken us 137 hours to walk here, so uh...how the fuck did we get here?"

"Chaz we're not going to Arizona to eat Burger King." Mike narrowed his eyes at the other frontman, conveniently ignoring Brad's logic as he put his phone back in his pocket. "Come on, we'll find a park around here." Without waiting for an answer, he turned around and stepped off the curb. There was a quiet thud as Rob jumped off the curb and quickly followed him like a puppy. He'd claimed he was still full from the pizza, so he hadn't gotten anything.

Brad looked a little angry about being ignored like that, scoffing and throwing an arm up after Mike before rolling his eyes and putting his phone away. "It'd help if someone had a fucking car," he went on to mumble, tucking his own bag of food under his arm as he followed Mike and Rob. He had to grab onto Mike's shoulder for support though, seeing as, how, well, the knee(s). "I mean, really," he continued, still trying to bring logic into the fanfiction. "Why are we just walking everywhere today?"

"Cause 6 people don't fit comfortably in a car?" Mike raised an eyebrow like it was obvious, blinking before looking back over at Chester. "Chaz you coming?"

Chester stood on the curb for a moment, staring off into the void before then shaking his head and following the three of them.

"You idiots," Brad was already grumbling before they made it over to Phoenix and Joe. "That car could've hit you! You're not supposed to just wander out into traffic like that."

"Or maybe the traffic's not supposed to just wander out into us like that," Phoenix retorted. Brad just raised an eyebrow at him in confusion as Chester and Mike walked past him, Rob staying behind to help him stand. "What?"

"Well it's their fault for putting the drive thru line right by the entrance," Joe scoffed, looking away. "So where are we going, Mike?"

"A park, I guess." Mike walked a little more, and glanced behind to see that his bandmates had just kind of let him take the lead.

"There's one down the street from here," Brad pointed out. "By the ocean, kinda."

"Alright, we're going there then. Rob can you help Brad?" He asked the quiet drummer, even though he was already helping Brad stand up. Rob nodded in response and hooked his arm under Brad's to support his weight. Brad looked a little agitated at needing help to walk, but let Rob help him anyway.

The six of them walked down the sidewalk, getting a lot of confused glances from drivers and other pedestrians. After all, it wasn't every day that you saw the entire band of Linkin Park walking down the street with a shitload of Burger King.

They had to take a few shortcuts down alleys and behind buildings at some points, due to the weird fangirls. One girl had run up to them and tried to gasp something when she saw Mike, but instead just fainted on the sidewalk. Like, literally fainted. They'd awkwardly stepped around her and kept walking.

Another girl had come out of nowhere and tried to grab Chester by the arm, but he pushed her off. The girl was persistent, however, and kept trying to drag him away from the rest of them. Brad and Mike had to step in and get her to go away, threatening to call the cops. She eventually left, but not before stealing some fries somehow.

There was even a girl that went after Brad, which left him pretty confused and a little uncomfortable. They had to climb up a ladder on the side of a building to get away from her.

"Alright, we're here." Mike sighed in relief as they stopped at the park. He wanted to just collapse on the ground right now. Maybe Brad was used to walking more, but for Mike, that was a _very_ long walk. And dealing with all those girls, of course, was exhausting.

"Finally!" Chester snapped. He looked as exhausted as Mike, and maybe even moreso because of the crazy fangirl that tried to kidnap him earlier. Looking pretty pissed off, he turned to glare at Brad. "Down the street, huh?"

Brad shrugged slowly. "Sorry?"

"Well we're here now." Mike looked between the two of them, eyes narrowed, but they didn't try to argue. He smiled, taking the lead again. "Come on, there's a nice breeze."

"I'm cold," Phoenix whined, rubbing his arms.

"I _told_ you to wear a jacket," Brad mumbled exasperatedly.

"YOOOO! LINKIN PARK!"

"Oh hey Fred," Chester smiled, waving as the Limp Bizkit frontman approached them. "Sup?"

Fred did that slap-handshake thing with Chester, giving him a fistbump afterwards. "This weather is SHIT." Fred's voice squeaked obnoxiously as he tipped his backwards red cap.

"I agree!" Phoenix called over, still shivering from the cold ocean breeze.

"Linkin fuckin' Park!" Fred nudged Chester. "My man, what the fuck you doin'?" That was Fred Durst speak for "Hi how are you?"

"Uh, nothing much, y'know." Chester glanced behind him at Mike for a moment before looking back at Fred and going on. "We're just gonna eat and then go beat up Green Day."

Fred flinched at that, his eyes going wide. "What? Those motherfuckers are _insane!_ "

"Really? Cause two of them are actually really quiet-"

"Have you _seen_ their concerts?" Fred crossed his arms. "They're fucked up on drugs n' all that hot shit! But whatever. You got food?" He glanced over the band, his eyes widening as he saw all the bags of Burger King.

"Yeah, uh, I actually got three whoppers if you want one." Chester opened his bag and started digging through it. "It's probably fucking cold by now though. _Thanks Brad!_ " He glared over at the guitar player, who glared back and threw his hand up in response.

"Oh shit, thanks man." Fred happily accepted the whopper that Chester gave him. "Anyway, I have no idea what the fuck I'm doing here in fucking Oakland, so I'm gonna go try to find a way out of here, uhyuh." He exchanged another fistbump with Chester before spinning around and walking off into the park.

"Sharing your food?" Mike glanced over at Chester, nudging his shoulder and chuckling. "Come on, who are you and where's the real Chester?"

Chester chuckled back, looking off to the side and scratching his head. "Yeah, yeah...So are we just gonna find a bench or something?"

"Yeah, sure. We'll need at least two though," Mike pointed out as he led the way into the park. "Cause 6 people don't fit on a bench."

There was a sudden scream from somewhere as they walked into the park, and Mike whipped around to find two people running at them. As they got closer, Mike squinted in confusion. Serj and Daron from System of a Down? What were they doing here?

"GET THE FOOOOOD!" Daron yelled deeply.

Serj and Daron were suddenly in the middle of the six of them, tackling and barreling into the ones holding food. Joe and Rob, who didn't have any food, were also lost in the chaos. Mike yelped as Serj shoved him over and snatched his food in one quick motion. "HEY!"

Brad yelled and punched Daron in the face as he was tackled. Daron didn't try to punch him back though; he pinned Brad down with one knee and wrestled the bag of food from him. Once he had the food, he quickly rolled off of him, tucking and rolling underneath Rob to dodge another punch from Brad.

Serj, after taking Mike's food, dove underneath Joe and knocked him off balance as he stole Phoenix's chicken sandwiches, which made him scream in rage as he kicked and punched Serj. The System of a Down frontman ducked his head against the flurry of blows, crawling underneath Chester. He stopped suddenly, throwing his head up and hitting Chester in the crotch. Chester, of course, gave a Chester-scream at that, trying not to fall to the ground in pain as he threw a bunch of punches down at Serj.

Daron rolled out from underneath Phoenix, swinging a hard punch up at the bag Chester was holding. It went flying off to the side, which Daron quickly went after. Serj crawled out from under Chester and stood up, running over to Daron.

"FUCKING GET THEM!" Chester screamed.

Mike was instantly standing again, anger and betrayal coursing through him. Specifically with Daron, of course, seeing as he'd worked with them to play Rebellion. "GUYS WHAT THE FUCK?!" He yelled over at the two.

"Go go go!" Daron gave Serj a push, since he had turned around to stare blankly at Mike. Serj blinked, shook his head, then gathered up the food he was holding and took off after Daron.

"GET THE FUCK BACK HEEEEREEEEEEE!" Chester screeched, bolting after the two of them. Mike flinched, instinctively trying to stop him, but Chester was already gone by the time he had reacted. His bandmates, most of whom were on the floor or knocked off balance by the sudden attack from Serj and Daron, slowly got up and stared after Chester as he chased after the thieves.

Nobody besides Chester ran after them though; Mike was a little surprised that Phoenix didn't join him, seeing as how angry he'd seemed over having his chicken sandwiches stolen. They all probably figured it was a lost cause at that point and that it was just easier to give up the food, even though Brad and Mike were pretty hungry.

The two suddenly swerved their direction and ran for a tree. Serj jumped and grabbed onto a low-hanging branch, hauling himself up quickly into the tree and sitting in the top of it. Daron wasn't as quick as Serj, and wound up getting tackled by Chester.

"GIVE US BACK OUR FUCKING FOOD!" Chester demanded, leaning down to scream in Daron's ear. Daron flinched a little at the scream, but glared back at Chester, shaking his head defiantly as he pulled the bag of food closer to his chest. "No! It's ours now!"

"OUR FOOD!" Serj growled from the tree, throwing a branch down at Chester. " _OURS!"_

"Chaz it's not worth it!" Mike called over loudly. "Just forget it!"

"NO!" Chester screamed over at him before glaring back down at Daron. "YOU THINK YOU'RE JUST GONNA FUCKING TAKE OUR FUCKING FOOD LIKE THAT?!"

"Yes, we do." Serj jumped down from the tree, landing with a thud. Mike saw Chester lean back a little as Serj suddenly drew out a pocket knife. " _Our_ food."

Chester was looking a little uneasy about the pocket knife being pointed at him. Daron growled from underneath him, shoving him off roughly as he grabbed the food and moved behind Serj.

"Chaz," Mike said, and Chester slowly turned to look over at him. Mike blinked at him as their eyes met. "Forget it."

Chester glanced back at Serj with a knife for a moment, then back to Mike. He finally gave a very irritated grumble, shoving his hands in his pockets as he plodded back over to his bandmates. He looked like a kid that had just been told "no" at wanting to get a new toy. Mike might have even thought it was cute if they were in a different circumstance right now.

"So what now?" Brad asked grumpily, glancing over at Mike as Serj and Daron climbed up the tree and disappeared. Mike sighed, folding his arms across his stomach as he felt it start to rumble. "I don't know. We'll have to get food somewhere else."

"Mike? Brad?"

"Huh?" Mike turned around at the same time as Brad, confused when he heard Rob. "What's up?"

Rob had his hands in his pockets. Once his two friends were staring at him, he slowly pulled pizza out of them. Mike just stared. His only thought was "what the fuck".

"Don't worry, it's the cheese pizza," Rob assured when Brad gave him an untrustworthy look. "I took the rest of it before we left Chuck E Cheese."

"... _Why?!_ " Brad just did that "boi" gesture at Rob.

"I didn't want it to go to waste," Rob replied quietly, still trying to give a slice to both of them. "Come on, you guys haven't eaten anything."

"Rob I'm not eating that." Brad took a step backwards. Mike blinked a few times, also backing up. "I appreciate the offer, Rob, but I really don't know if that's edible."

"Well, you gotta eat _something!_ " Rob was looking a little annoyed. "Chester, Phi and I all ate it, and we're fine!"

"Well, _you're_ fine..." Brad remarked pointedly, giving a side glance over towards Chester and Phoenix. Mike crossed his arms, glaring at Brad. "What are you saying?"

"Well, Chester keeps screaming at everyone and everything, and Phoenix is being a narcissistic idiot." Brad looked back at Mike with a shrug. "Sorry. You know it's true though."

"What? No it's not!" Mike hissed at him. "Brad I can't believe you're even saying that!"

"Guys!" Rob whined. "Stop fighting and eat it!"

"Rob," Mike began, his arms still crossed as he glanced away from Brad to address the quiet drummer. "I am _not-_ "

"Eat the fucking pizza before I _shove it down your throat!_ " Rob suddenly snapped, making both Brad and Mike flinch.

"...So you ate the pizza and you're fine, huh?" Brad asked sarcastically after an awkward silence followed Rob's totally-out-of-character-outburst. Mike turned to glare at him again. "Brad!"

"Hey, you guys alright?"

Their quarrel was interrupted as someone called over to them. Mike glanced towards where the voice had come from. He saw someone that he thought he should recognize, although he couldn't put a face to the name.

"Food stolen?"

Mike, Brad and Rob just kind of dispersed awkwardly as the guy came up to them. He glanced between the three of them, looking a little confused at their awkwardness but went on anyway. "Those two've been doing that all day. Chester was the first one to actually go after them for it, though."

"...Wait so you know us?" Mike finally glanced up to meet his eyes. The other still looked confused. "Uh...yeah, why wouldn't I? You guys are Linkin Park, right?"

"Yeah...uhh..." Mike trailed off, and before he was able to pick it back up and ask who this guy was, he went on. "I was gonna go out with my band later - we're gonna meet up with The Offspring downtown and get some food. You wanna come with us?"

"Your band?" Mike just stared blankly at him. The other man returned his stare. "Uh...yeah. You know. Green Day?"

"You're not Green Day." Brad looked as lost as Mike.

The possible-impostor sighed. "Alright, fine, I'm the 'unofficial official fourth member'."

"Oh shit! You're uh...Jee...Jer...Jay...Ger...Ah...Jo..." Mike stumbled through a bunch of sounds.

"Jason," he finally answered.

"Jason!" Mike smiled. "Shit! Sorry we didn't recognize you."

"Oh, it's fine. I'm used to it." Jason looked off to the side before glancing back at Mike. "Anyway you wanna come with us?"

Oh. That probably wasn't a good idea given the earlier incident that Jason clearly didn't know about yet.

"Did I hear fucking Green Day?" Chester asked as he stomped over. "Chaz," Mike whispered, hoping Chester would get the hint. Chester dropped his glare, giving Mike a confused look. "What?"

"What?" Jason asked, looking between the two frontmen before stepping away. "Did uh...something happen?"

"I'll tell you what fucking happened!" Chester snapped. Mike's eyes widened, and he tugged on Chester's jacket sleeve as he stepped forward to glare at Jason. Unfortunately, Chester didn't seem to pick up on the several hints that Mike dropped. "That fucking drummer fuck! He fucking knocked out Brad's knees with a fucking baseball bat!"

"You mean Tré?" Jason asked slowly, looking a little uncomfortable under Chester's glare. "He only would've done that if you did something to piss him or Billie off, y'know-"

"AND THAT'S WHY WE'RE GONNA GO SMASH HIS FUCKING KNEECAPS OUT NOW!"

Jason blinked once, twice, then quickly backed away. "Alright, no. I'm gonna go warn them now."

" _Chester!_ " Mike groaned.

"NOT IF WE GET THERE FIRST!" Chester screamed in reply to Jason.

"I'd like to see you try." Jason narrowed his eyes at them, then turned around and started to leave the park.

"COME ON!" Mike stumbled as Chester suddenly grabbed him by the arm and started running out of the park. "WE GOTTA GET THERE BEFORE HIM!"


	7. Oh Shit It's The Offspring

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A huge fight occurs. The gang thinks it's gonna be beating up Green Day 2 the Electric Boogaloo with a slight twist but then The Offspring shows up to defend them. Chester is fucking pissed. JoJo references will be crammed down your throat because funny haha meme.

> **Hit the dirt 'cause the words I spit,**
> 
> **Will do more than just rip your shirt.**
> 
> **I'll bitch slap your soul, contact the track control.**
> 
> **You're coming at me? You can't hack it, though.**
> 
> **\- Reading My Eyes** _(Xero)_

Mike shifted from where he was crouched in the bushes on the side of that ridiculously-long driveway. On his left were Brad and Rob, crouched beside him, but not ready to attack. Brad had agreed to stay in the bushes and protect Rob, and would only jump in to help their other 4 bandmates if needed.

Across the driveway, in another set of bushes was where Chester was waiting with Phoenix and Joe. Mike shifted again, feeling his legs ache from crouching for so long. They'd been waiting here for at least an hour. At least they knew that Tré and Mike were there, though - they'd passed their cars at the bottom of the driveway. Why they had parked there and walked up the entire driveway, Mike would never know.

A door closed from higher up the hill, and Mike tensed. They were waiting a little while down the hill, mostly out of sight of the house. But with all the open air around, they could still hear the door, along with the voices of Green Day. They must be leaving.

Mike quickly poked his head out of the bush to look up the hill, then turned and looked across the driveway, giving a thumbs up. Chester poked his head out of the bushes on the opposite side, giving Mike a thumbs up in response with his good hand - he'd wrapped the other one in bandages before leaving the hospital. They both ducked back into the bushes after that, awaiting their prey.

They heard Tré long before they saw him, since he was complaining loudly about breaking his drumset. Mike tensed again, grabbing some stray branches in the bush and squeezing them in anticipation. His patience was soon rewarded as Mike and Tré started to walk by. Mike just looked apathetic as hell, occasionally giving an "Uh-huh" or a nod as Tré went on complaining.

Mike S. inhaled, waiting until Tré walked in front of him. He was about to give the shout to attack, but froze as he heard someone running up. He could only watch as Jason appeared out of seemingly nowhere and ran up to his two unofficial official bandmates. "Guys!"

"Oh shit is everything alright Jay?" The Mike in his band asked.

"Linkin...Park...saw them at the park...said they're gonna smash Tré's kneecaps..."

"I'd like to see them try!" Tré scoffed arrogantly.

"Alright alright, calm down," Mike said to Jason quietly. "Billie's still in the house - why don't you go up and tell him? We'll meet you down the hill."

"No no, we can't split up." Jason shook his head. "I had to race them here. They're on their way _right now_."

The Mike this story has been following was getting sick of playing the waiting game. His legs were aching even more. He wanted to just get this over with. So, inhaling deeply, he shouted. "YOU'RE TOO LATE~!"

Tré and Mike looked around, Tré pressing himself against Mike as he stared at the bushes. Jason's eyes just went wide. The Shinoda Mike burst from the bushes, immediately swinging a punch at Tré, who easily dodged it. Chester, Joe, and Phoenix ran out from the other side, Chester screaming as usual.

The blond Mike flinched as he saw the other three running at them, grabbing Tré by the arm and pulling him closer. "Oh _fuck_."

"Think you're just gonna smash Brad's kneecaps like that, huh?!" Shinoda (we'll call him this for now to avoid confusion) shouted, going to give Tré another punch. Mike pulled his bandmate out of the way though.

"Move it, beach boy!" Phoenix growled, trying to shove Mike away. He had a pretty firm grip on Tré though, so it looked like they wouldn't be able to separate them as they'd planned.

"Seriously, Mike." Shinoda glared at Tré before looking at Mike. "Just let go of him. We only wanna beat _him_ up, not you."

Mike glared at him, pulling Tré even closer against him, if that was even possible at that point. "Hey, just cause he can be an asshole sometimes doesn't mean I'm gonna let you 4 beat him up."

"Yeah - hey!" Tré protested upon being called an asshole.

"I'm telling you, Mikey," Shinoda growled, stepping forward as Joe, Phoenix, and Chester circled the two from behind. "Don't get involved - AH!" There was a sudden searing pain in his crotch, making him grab it and double over in pain, falling to his knees. He glanced up to see Mike staring down at him with mild concern, and Tré just glared smugly at him. Was a smug glare even a thing? Well, Tré just made it one.

"Oh shit Mike!" Joe gasped, running over. "What happened?"

Shinoda looked up to glare at Tré, hissing. "He just kicked me in the balls!"

"No I didn't," Tré scoffed, still pressed against Mike. "I _punched_ you in the balls."

"You asshole!" Shinoda snapped.

"Whaaaat?" Phoenix asked loudly. "You touched his dick? That's gay, man!"

"Well, I'm already gay for Billie," Tré pointed out. "So, uh...yeah."

"Just fucking get him!" Shinoda yelled, glaring up at his three bandmates that were still up.

With that, hell started to break loose. Joe went to go punch Tré in the balls (or ball, in his case) as revenge, but Tré was quicker, ducking down and then giving Joe an uppercut to the crotch. Joe screamed in pain and fell over next to Shinoda. The cunt punt was lethal, after all.

"Wait...where the fuck did Jason go?!" Shinoda looked around, realizing that the unofficial official fourth member of the band had disappeared. He glanced up to see Tré give him a smirk. Shinoda could safely assume that Jason had run off to get backup or something.

Chester's screams filled the air as Phoenix tried to seperate the two Green Day members. Shinoda slowly rose, groaning as pain continued to sear through his crotch. Phoenix, obviously, was unsuccessful in separating the two, especially since they'd realized they had a better chance of winning this fight if they stuck together.

"You fucking deserve this!" Shinoda snapped, finally landing a punch on Tré, even though it was just his arm. It was enough to surprise him, though, probably because he'd convinced himself that he was invincible. Taking the opportunity, Shinoda slapped him hard in the face. Tré flinched again, staring absently at him. Shinoda smirked, knowing that he'd just bitch-slapped his soul. That was one thing he'd always been good at.

"And you guys started this," Mike pointed out. "Y'know, when you came over here and started fucking with Billie."

"Yeah!" Tré yelled, shaking his head as he quickly recovered from getting his soul bitch-slapped. He quickly aimed a punch at Shinoda's face, who managed to dodge by ducking. "Fuck with one of us, fuck with all three of us!" Shinoda wasn't able to dodge the next punch, and hissed in pain as the numbing pain in his crotch transferred to a searing pain in his nose. Retracting his hand, he saw it covered in fresh blood. As he looked up, he was given a hard shove by Tré, and wound up falling on his ass.

It seemed that Chester and Phoenix weren't doing too good, either. With Shinoda down again, Tré whirled around and got Phoenix in the throat, then went for another crotch shot with Chester, who managed to block it with his forearm.

Shinoda realized that all the while, Mike had been pulling Tré further up the driveway, so they were getting closer to the house. He hissed in agitation. Between that and Jason running off to get help or whatever, Billie was bound to come running outside at any point now. Shit!

"Brad!" He yelled, rolling over to glance at the bushes. "We need help!"

"What, you mean him?"

Shinoda could only watch as Brad was shoved out of the bush, landing roughly on his stomach. Billie pushed his way out of the bush after that, scoffing as he rubbed leaves off of his sweater. "Honestly," he commented, glancing down at the three on the ground, then Chester and Phoenix failing to really do anything to the other two. "This is just fucking _pathetic_."

"We just wanted to beat up Tré!" Shinoda grunted, rolling onto his stomach and pushing himself up to his hands and knees. "We were gonna leave you two alone!"

"Fuck with one of us, fuck with all three of us," Billie replied, giving Shinoda a hard kick in the side, which made him gasp and fall back over. "You two good over there?" He asked, leaving Shinoda on the ground as he looked over at his bandmates.

"Fuck yeah!" Tré replied. "I'm kicking ass over here!" After he said that, he turned around and socked Chester right in the face. "Yea-" Mike had started to reply, but was cut off as Phoenix finally managed to separate him from Tré, giving him a rough shove afterwards. "We told you to _stay out of th -_ OH SHIT!" Phoenix suddenly wasn't so badass anymore as Mike began beating the shit out of him. "OH GOD OH FUCK I'M SORRY!" He tried to fight back, and got a few good hits in there. Within about 20 seconds, the two of them were having a pretty violent fistfight.

Chester, upon being punched in the face, had screamed in rage. He held the scream for a good 10 seconds before lunging at Tré again, only to realize that Tré had walked away while he was screaming. "Uh...oh."

"How are you guys beating us?" Shinoda finally asked, glaring up at Billie. This shouldn't be happening. It was 6 versus 3. How the hell did they keep losing these fights? The punk rocker turned to glance down at him, scoffing. "We've been in a lot of fights, kid. Ya ever been to Woodstock? Shit's insane."

Two thuds made him look back over, and he saw that Chester and Phoenix had both fallen. Mike blinked, a fist still raised, like he was surprised that he'd just knocked out Phoenix that easily. Yep, Phoenix was out cold on the ground.

"Come on, get up." Shinoda tried not to gasp in pain as Billie kicked at him again. "Fight's over. Now get the fuck outta here."

Brad groaned as he rolled over, looking like he wasn't about to let this end. In one quick motion, he swung his arm out, knocking Billie off balance and making him yelp as he fell over. He tried to get up, but Brad was quicker in pinning him down. "Ain't over yet, fucker!"

Mike ran over to help Billie, only to get tripped himself by Chester. He got back up and started to run over again, but got tripped by Joe this time. Chester crawled over and helped Joe pin the bass guitarist down.

So everyone was basically just wrestling and throwing punches and kicks at each other on the ground now, except for Phoenix and Shinoda, who were still laying on the ground not doing anything, and Tré, who was the only one standing. He blinked a couple times, watching everyone wrestle. "This has gotta be one of the weirdest fights I've ever witnessed."

"You're not just witnessing it," a quiet voice growled. Tré turned around to look behind him, looking mildly confused. "What."

Shinoda looked up as he heard a rustle in the trees. Squinting against the sun, he saw Rob shift in the tree. "You're _in_ it." With that, Rob jumped from the tree and tackled Tré, making him yell in surprise. There was no trace of fear in Rob's eyes as he went on the offense. Only rage, determination, and a desire for vengeance.

Tré put up a fight, of course, and the two drummers wound up rolling back and forth across the ground, repeatedly punching each other. Or at least until Tré shoved him off and they were both standing. "Oh? You're approaching me?" He scoffed. "Instead of running away, you're coming right to me?"

"I can't beat the shit out of you without getting closer," Rob growled.

"Oh ho! Then come as close as you like!" Tré replied, throwing his arms out. Rob growled again, stomping up to him like Dio walking to Jotaro in case you hadn't picked up on the epic funny JoJo reference by now.

Shinoda blinked as Rob's shouts of "ORA ORA ORA!" and lots of punching rang in his head. Welp. This fight had certainly escalated thanks to Brad, and he was still laying there and doing nothing about it. 

Sighing, he laid on his back and stared up at the sky. The clouds looked pretty today. It was sort of late-afternoon at this point, although the sun wouldn't be setting for a while. What were they going to do after this?

Well, if they won, he figured they could go out and get some celebratory pancakes. And if they lost, well, they could go out and get some regular pancakes to drown out their emotions. Either way he wanted pancakes.

"OH ROB YOU GOT HIM?" Brad's yell cut through the air, and Shinoda blinked, snapping out of his pancake-trance to look over at the two weebs. It looked like they were wrestling on the ground again. Rob replied with a "Yeah!"

Brad was suddenly on top, shoving Billie roughly onto the ground. "You stay down there, you faggot junkie!" He snapped before pushing himself up and half limping, half crawling over to where the drummers were.

Billie had initially been about to retort, but then blinked, looking unsure about how he felt on being called a "faggot junkie".

Tré almost looked bored underneath Rob, mostly just laying there and occasionally blocking or giving Rob a shove. Rob obviously wasn't a very good fighter, but he kept trying anyway. Shinoda had to admire his spirit, at least.

Tré continued to look bored and do all that, or at least until a shadow fell over him, and he looked up to see Brad glaring down at him with utter hatred. "...Oh _shit_...uhh...Mike?"

"Little busy over here!" Mike replied temperedly from where he was still struggling with Chester and Joe.

"Billie?!"

"Less cheese has less holes, but more cheese has more holes. So is more cheese really less cheese?" Billie asked absently, obviously being very deep in his thoughts. Or maybe he was just stoned.

"WHAT?!"

"Say your prayers, bitch-boy!" Brad growled, raising his fist. He was about to slam into Tré (not like _that_ ok I'm pretty sure Brad's straight), but ever-so-conveniently stopped when he heard yelling and banging in the distance.

"W...what the fuck?" Chester asked, letting go of Mike as he looked towards the direction of the yelling. He glanced over at Shinoda. "Did you hear-"

The yelling and banging drowned him out, and Shinoda turned around to see that 4 people had shown up. One of them had a frying pan, another one was banging two pots together, and of course one of them had a baseball bat.

"Oh shit it's The Offspring!" Rob cried, immediately getting off Tré and making a beeline for the trees.

"What?!" Brad snarled after him. "Get the fuck back here, Rob! We got him!"

"You sure about that, man?" The one with a baseball bat, who Shinoda had heard and assumed was Dexter, asked. Brad seemed to get PTSD from looking at the baseball bat, and slowly got off of Tré, his wide eyes never leaving the baseball bat.

There was a clunk, followed by a scream, and Shinoda whirled around to see that Joe had just gotten whacked with a frying pan by Noodles.

Shinoda screamed in frustration. "WHY DOES THIS SHIT ALWAYS HAPPEN?!"

Dexter looked away from Brad, glancing down at Shinoda. His confusion slowly changed to more confusion. "Shinoda? What...what - ohh. You guys are Linkin Park. Shit. I'm sorry man."

"ARE YOU?!" Joe choked out, holding his head with both hands as he screamed.

"Don't fuckin' apologize!" Tré huffed, getting up and brushing his shirt off. "They keep trying to beat us up! There's _6_ of them, Dex. _6_."

"I don't know how I feel about 2 strange men pinning me down," Mike threw in, slowly getting up and glancing over at Dexter. "But I don't think I like it."

"Uhhh...Mikey?" Tré asked quietly. "You're bleeding."

"What?" Mike glanced at him as he felt his face for a moment. "Ah shit, I think I lost a tooth again."

"...Mike." Billie was still laying on the ground, looking up at Mike exasperatedly.

"Why are you trying to beat them up though?" Dexter interrupted, asking the obvious question to Shinoda. "I mean, what? You don't like Green Day?"

Shinoda said nothing in response. It was fun to bully them, that's why. Except when they just got fucking baseball bats and frying pans apparently.

Dexter slowly looked around at the scene, his bandmates drawing back from where they'd been standing threateningly over the Linkin Park members that were still up. Well, except Greg and Pete. Pete was just kind of standing back, continuing to bang his pots. And Greg just had nothing, instead shoving his hands into his pockets. He had a speaker clipped to his belt loop though, which was quietly playing a Come Out And Play MIDI.

Phoenix was still knocked out on the ground. Chester was sitting up on his knees, looking pretty pissed off. Joe was on the ground too, hissing to himself as he held his head. Brad was still sitting near Tré, looking pissed off like Chester. Rob had climbed up a tree again, unsurprisingly. And Shinoda was still laying on the ground. He glanced over to see Billie push himself up off the ground and go over to Dexter, where he said something that he couldn't hear.

The two of them exchanged a few words, and Dexter finally turned away, rolling his eyes a little. "Alright. Come on guys. Noodles, step off."

Noodles muttered something, but stepped away from Joe and Chester anyway.

"Come on, 'Chaz'." Shinoda glanced over to see Billie going over to Chester. "Or Kenji. Whichever one of you fucks is in charge. Whatever. Just fuck _off_ already."

"Don't call me that!" Chester snapped. "How the fuck do you know my middle name?" Shinoda asked at the same time.

"Yeah, whatever, Chazzy. And fuckin' Google, that's how." Billie flicked his dark hair back. "Come on, drag yourselves off."

"Fuck you," Shinoda hissed as he pushed himself up to stand, feeling everything from his spine to his ass sting with pain. "Fuck you, man."

"Once again," Mike pointed out. "You guys started this."

"Shut the fuck up!" Shinoda snapped at him. "You're not good enough to be a Mike!"

Oh no. You don't fuck with him or his bandmates, but you _definitely_ don't fuck with Mike. Shinoda quickly learned this as Billie shoved him onto the pavement very roughly. He didn't stop there, though. It was all punches, kicks, and baseball bats from there.

It didn't take long for Chester and Brad to try and protect Shinoda and Billie's own bandmates to drag him off. Even though it hadn't been that long, Shinoda groaned, knowing that _he_ probably needed a hospital now.

Chester and Brad helped him stand up, although he still needed to help Brad stand too, given the knee and all. He glanced over at the other band. Billie was just glaring with an obvious hatred as his bandmates held him back. Shinoda glared back at him.

"Uh...ok, man," Dexter finally broke the awkward silence that came with the standoff. "I mean, we got a little worried when you guys didn't show up downtown. Glad we showed up here, I guess..?"

"Huh? Oh yeah, definitely." Billie's glare was immediately gone as he looked over at Dexter. "Thanks."

"We aren't getting our asses kicked again," Brad growled, only to stumble and grab onto Shinoda's shoulder as his knee buckled.

Everyone just stared at him. Well, except Phoenix and Joe. They were fucking dead. Not really though.

Dexter tapped his baseball bat. "Hey, man, you like the abuse?"

Greg's speaker started playing a MIDI of Bad Habit right on cue.

Shinoda flinched a little as the man who kinda looked like Luke Skywalker stepped closer. Even though Dexter was, like, the most chill guy ever, he looked pretty intimidating with a baseball bat right now, especially with Bad Habit playing in the background. Shinoda stepped backwards, putting a hand on Brad's shoulder. He pulled Brad back a little, then leaned towards him. "Come on, there's no way we can win now. We're gonna have to find another way to get back at them."

"Another way?" Chester asked, looking like an idea was already forming in his head. His brown eyes lit up, and he leaned towards Shinoda to whisper his idea. The rapper's eyes brightened too, and he looked over at Billie with a smirk. "Fine, if you guys wanna just call in your friends, we'll go after some of your other friends..."

Billie seemed to flinch at that, eyes narrowing defensively. "I'll put you in a fucking coma right now."

Mike glared over at them warningly. That was the difference between him and Billie, Shinoda thought. Billie seemed to talk a lot, but he didn't doubt that Mike actually _could_ put someone in a coma if he really wanted to, especially after seeing how easily he'd knocked out Phoenix.

"No need," Shinoda replied breezily, pretending that their glares weren't making him nervous. When he just received confused looks from everyone, he went on with a light scoff. "We'll just go bully blink-182 instead."

A loud "PFFT HA" came from Tré. "Good luck, Kenji!"

"Blink-182? What the fuck are you gonna do to blink-182?" Billie scoffed. "You're just gonna get sodomized with a pirate sword and...well, they'll get dog asses in there somehow."

"Dog asses?" Chester whispered. "What the fuck?"

"Yeah, but they're your friends!" Shinoda shot back. "So we're gonna go beat them up instead!"

"I hope it rains and you all get stuck," Mike called for some reason, even though it wasn't really in context.

Billie shrugged. "Your funeral."

"Yeah, man, I wouldn't fuck with them," Dexter agreed, shaking his head. "They're wild."

"Well, we're _going_ to fuck with them!" Shinoda shot back, already starting to limp down the driveway with Chester. Brad got Joe up, and the two of them started to drag Phoenix.

"That sounds gay," Tré pointed out flatly as he watched Brad and Joe drag Phoenix's limp body down the driveway.

"You'll be sorry!" Shinoda called over his shoulder. Chester glanced behind him to glare at them too. "Yeah! You're really gonna feel it when blink comes crying to you guys!"

"Weren't you just working with Mark not that long ago?" Billie asked reasonably.

"Yeah you were, like, touring with them or something," Dexter threw in.

Shinoda scoffed. "Whatever! It'll be worth it to get back at you for calling in your bigger friends to defend you!"

"Ok but he basically scared all 6 of you off with a baseball bat earlier," Mike pointed out, pointing over at Tré.

Shinoda didn't have a retort for that one, and instead just scoffed, turning around and continuing to limp down the driveway with Chester.

"Uh...ok." Billie still looked pretty confused.

"Buddy," Mike added.

"Retard," Tré mumbled.

"You'll be sorry!" Shinoda repeated as him and Chester started to limp out of sight of the two bands. "You'll know once and for all that you _can't fuck with this band!_ "

"...Man shut up!" Tré called after them. "And A Thousand Suns sucked, by the way!"

Shinoda growled at the random insult, turning around to glare at Tré. He was about to retort, but then shut his mouth, wanting to keep the dignity he still had. And so, he turned back around and resumed limping off.

"Hunting Party was your only good one," Billie threw in his opinion nonchalantly.

"Ah man, Hybrid Theory was the worst!" Mike commented loudly. That comment seemed to trigger Chester, seeing as he whipped around with a fierce glare. "THAT WAS OUR FIRST AND MOST SUCCESSFUL ALBUM, YOU KNOW!"

"Yeah, that was the joke," Mike replied, waving his hand over his head. "Whoooosh."

"ARE SLASH WHOOSH WITH FOUR O'S!" Tré added.

"They're fucking Reddit-slanging us!" Chester hissed to Shinoda, who shook his head and kept limping.

"C'mon Chaz, let's just go."

"NO!" Chester glared back up the hill. "WHY DON'T YOU COME DOWN HERE AND SAY THAT?"

"Nah, I'm kinda tired," Mike called down, making his two bandmates laugh. "Why don't you guys come up here?"

"They're taunting us. Chester come on let's just g-" Shinoda tried to grab Chester's arm, but he pulled away and started running up the hill. Shinoda groaned loudly. It was the fucking Dio walking to Jotaro scene again.

Mike stumbled back a little, his blue eyes wide. He was clearly surprised that Chester had decided to run at him. "Oh - you're, uh...you're approaching me?"

Chester gave an ear-splitting Chester-scream as he ran at Mike, a fist raised. Before he could even reach Mike though, Tré jumped in front of him and help up his baseball bat. "OOGA BOOGA!"

Chester's angry Chester-scream turned into a scream of fear. He immediately whipped around, changing direction and running back down the hill. Shinoda yelped as Chester ran back down the hill, running so fast that he crashed into him and they both toppled over. All 3 of the Green Day members were laughing hysterically at them by that point, making Shinoda shoot an annoyed glance at Chester. "Happy now?" He growled, shoving him off and standing up.

"Sorry," Chester mumbled as he got up, looking down and kicking at the ground afterwards. He glanced up at Shinoda for a moment, and the two of them limped after their bandmates - they had all gone ahead, while Shinoda stayed behind to wait for Chester.

"Alright..." Shinoda mumbled. "Let's try that again." He glared back up the hill. Dexter was staring blankly down at them, his other 3 bandmates surrounding him. Billie and Mike were still laughing, leaning on each other. Tré was just making those orgasm faces that he sometimes does at concerts. Jason had shown up at some point, and was looking at his unofficial official bandmates like "wtf". Tré, upon noticing him, just smiled innocently, even though he was far from innocent in just about every way.

"Once again," Shinoda growled, then raised his voice until he was shouting. Leaning on Chester's shoulder, he shook a fist up at them. "You'll know once and for all that you _can't fuck with this band!_ "


	8. Fine We'll Just Go Bully blink-182 Instead

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Since the gang can't seem to just beat up Green Day, they decide to hunt down blink-182 and take out their frustrations on them instead. At least until Mike feels bad because Mark is happy to see him. But another fight breaks out anyway. You can add a broken wrist to Chester's list of injuries!

> **Fuck, this hurts, I won't lie.**
> 
> **Doesn't matter how hard I try.**
> 
> **Half the words don't mean a thing,**
> 
> **And I know that I won't be satisfied.  
>  **
> 
> **\- Bleed it Out** _(Minutes to Midnight)_

"Fine we'll just go bully blink-182 instead," Chester scoffed, narrowing his eyes over at Mike, who kept pace with him as they walked. "Really?"

"What?" Mike shrugged.

"Is that them?" Brad interrupted, still leaning pretty heavily on Mike's shoulder. Chester slowed in front of them from where he'd started to take the lead. "Uh-huh," he answered.

Their other three bandmates stopped behind them. Mike glanced up at where Mark appeared to be on top of a lamppost. He had to squint and shield his eyes to see him, since the setting sun was starting to get pretty bright.

Tom was standing at the bottom of the lamppost, yelling something up at Mark. Travis was sitting on a wall nearby, looking rather bored as he swung his legs back and forth.

"So uh...now what?" Chester asked, turning around to look at Mike. The rapper blinked, pondering to himself for a moment, then brushed past Chester. "Hey!" He yelled over to the other band.

Travis kind of gave him a side glance, but otherwise ignored him. Tom looked away from Mark on top of the lamppost to stare at Mike. "Oh, uh, hey."

Mike started to walk over to him, and the rest of his band followed. Tom backed up a little. "Shit, uh...I keep forgetting you're a huge band."

"Shinoda?" Mark called, looking down from where he was hanging onto the lamppost. "Is that you down there?" He slid down the pole with a loud _squuueeeeaaaaak,_ making Tom groan an annoyed " _Mark-ay!_ "

"Hey!" Mark smiled as he landed on the ground. "What's up?"

Mike blinked, suddenly feeling bad. Mark was being so friendly, and seemed excited to see him. How could they beat him up now?

"Mike?" Chester asked quietly, glancing over at him.

Mike continued to stand there silently. Mark's smile faded, and he tilted his head a little. "You good?"

"Yeah, uh, what do you want?" Tom backed away a little more, folding his arms across his chest. Travis pushed himself off the wall and walked over, standing in front of Tom and looking at Mike with an unreadable expression.

"So uh...how's your relationship with Green Day?" Mike finally asked. He had to curse at himself after that one though. What an awkward question. It was bound to raise suspicion.

"Green Day?" Mark echoed, looking pretty confused. "Uh...fine, I guess. Why?"

"Are you like, friends with them or anything?"

"Yeah, you could say that." Mark shrugged, leaning against the lamppost. "I mean, I'd say they've been more of an inspiration though. Why? Do you want us to hook you up with them or something?"

"Fuck no!" Chester snapped, making Mark and Tom both flinch. Travis just eyed him dubiously.

"Uh...are you guys alright?" Tom asked, looking over the 6 of them. Mike had been limping for a while, and Brad was still leaning heavily on him. Chester still had his hand bandaged up, of course, and Joe was rubbing his head a lot. Phoenix looked a little woozy from being knocked out earlier. Rob kept casting nervous glances over his shoulder as he stuck close to Brad and Mike.

"Yeah," Mark agreed, standing up straight and abandoning the lamp pole. "What happened?"

"We uh..." Chester started, but then cast an unsure look over at Mike, as if he wasn't sure if he should continue or not. "We had some trouble with Green Day," Mike finally answered.

"And then The fucking Offspring showed up," Brad grumbled.

"Really..? What'd you do to piss them off?" Mark chuckled a little, already turning away and walking off. "Hang on, I got some first aid shit in my car."

Mike grumbled to himself at needing help, but kept leaning against Brad as he watched the bass player walk off. Or at least until he stopped at a car that was at the end of the driveway. "Tom!" He called, glaring over at his friend. "Stop blocking the driveway with your car!"

"Oh, just shut up and put the butterfly in the bell jar," Tom retorted with a scoff as Mark turned back around and walked off to his car.

Travis just blinked slowly, having been silent this entire time. He started to go back over to where he'd been sitting on the wall earlier, but paused when he noticed Rob. He gave him a nod. Rob blinked, then nodded back. They glanced at each other for a few more seconds before Travis turned away and pulled himself back up on the wall.

Mike scratched his head after he watched the exchange. It seemed like drummers just had some kind of secret code with each other.

It was about another minute until Mark came back. He probably didn't really know what to do, seeing as he just gave the first-aid kit to Mike. As Mike opened it, he found general first-aid things - bandages, that spray that stings like hell even though it says it doesn't, gauze, and whatever else. "Thanks Mark."

His injured bandmates - or at least the ones that could be helped by the first-aid stuff, since it probably didn't do much for concussions - came forward to get some stuff for themselves. Chester wrapped his hand up again, since the bandages from the hospital had gotten torn in the fight. Brad wrapped bandages tightly around each knee, probably trying to make a knee brace. Mike felt sore all over. He dug through the medical supplies, sighing in relief when he found ibuprofen.

"Hey, uh, anyone got water I can take with this?" He asked, glancing up at his own bandmates, then the other two.

"I uh...I got this," Tom answered, swinging a water bottle absently a few times before tossing it to Mike, who easily caught it. Tom had obviously drank some of it already, but Mike didn't care. He just wanted the aching to stop. So, twisting the cap off, he popped two tablets of ibuprofen, then drank some of the water.

"Oh by the way I have 3 different STDs and dysentery, plus I came in there." Tom waited until Mike started drinking the water before he shared this information. Mike's brown eyes flew open, and he instantly spit out the water that had been in his mouth, coughing and sputtering. "WHAT?!"

Tom gave an amused snort. "Nah I'm just fucking with you."

"You sure about that?" Travis called over from where he was sitting on the wall.

"You can't get STDs from sharing drinks, anyway," Mark threw in, glancing down at Mike, who was still like choking or something. "Or dysentery...not sure about semen, though. He might've actually came in that."

"HEY MAN YOU WANNA GO?" Chester's loud voice drew Mike's attention upwards. He slowly stood up straight from where he'd been hunched over the ground to stare over at his foil. Chester was glaring up at Tom, a fist raise threateningly. "FUCK WITH MIKE, FUCK WITH THE REST OF US!"

"Wait Chaz hold on-" Mike started to step towards him, putting a hand out to stop him, but Chester completely ignored him as he gave a Chester-scream and tackled Tom to the ground. Mark gave a surprised blink, stepping backwards as he stared down at the two of them with wide blue eyes. Mike found himself staring as well. Tom definitely put up a fight, but so did Chester. Mike couldn't put his money on who would win. After a few more seconds of watching them wrestle on the ground, he slowly glanced up at everyone else.

Brad was also glancing down at the two fighting on the ground. His expression was similar to Mark's, minus the wide eyes. Joe was sitting cross-legged on the pavement, still hissing to himself as he rubbed his head. Phoenix stood next to him, ruffling the turntablist's hair as he too looked down at Chester and Tom. Mike glanced over at the wall to see Rob sitting next to Travis. Rob's gaze was unreadable as he watched the fight - or maybe he was staring into the void, Mike didn't know - and Travis looked apathetic as hell.

There was a point where Tom shoved Chester off, making him stumble and try to balance on his knees. With an agitated growl, he stood up and glared down at the immature, crazy alien conspiracist. He screamed something unintelligible, then made a sudden dive for him.

Tom simply scooched out of the way, leaving Chester to dive onto the pavement. Mike winced as Chester screamed in pain after diving into the ground.

"Gonna cry?" Tom scoffed, looking down at Chester condescendingly. Chester fell onto his side, grabbing his wrist. Tom sat up, slowly standing. "Piss your pants, maybe?" He went on, raising an eyebrow. "Maybe shit and cum?"

"Is your wrist alright?" Mark asked, leaning over Chester. Tom turned to stare at his bandmate in angry disbelief. "He fucking tackled me! Why are you asking if _he's_ alright?!"

"IT'S FUCKING BROKEN!" Chester screamed.

Mike gave a long sigh, rubbing his face in exasperation. " _Chester..._ " Well, Chester had always been accident prone. But today, it was just starting to get really annoying. Removing his hand from his face, Mike looked down tiredly at Chester. And of _course_ it had to be his good hand that was injured. "Uh...what's broken, exactly?" He had forgotten in the chaos.

"MY WRIST!"

"Oh COME ON!" Brad suddenly growled, and Mike turned to stare at him. Brad looked pissed off as hell, glaring up at Tom - he was 6'4, after all. "WE'VE ALREADY HAD ENOUGH SHIT TODAY!"

"What?" Tom scoffed, folding his arms across his chest as he glanced down at Brad. "Chester fucking started that. It's not _my_ fault that he's a fucking idiot and dove into the ground like that."

"Uh...yeah...sorry Chaz but you did kinda-" Mike was cut off as Chester gave an angry Chester-scream in response to him.

"WHATEVER IT'S YOUR FAULT!" Brad suddenly swung a punch at Tom. He clearly wasn't expecting that, seeing as he flinched after being hit.

"Brad calm down-"

"STAY OUT OF THIS MIKE!" Brad snapped, turning to glare at his friend. "I'M SICK OF THESE POP-PUNKERS ACTING LIKE THEY'RE BETTER THAN US! YOU TAKE CARE OF MARK!" He turned away after that, swinging several punches at Tom in a sudden fury.

Mark flinched at Brad's words, probably expecting to get punched in the face. Mike glanced at him, and the bass player returned his gaze uncertainly. It seemed that the two of them were having an awkward standoff now. But Mike couldn't find it in him to beat up Mark - why would he? Mark had been friendly, seemed excited to see them, and gave them a first-aid kit. It was pretty hypocritical of Brad to suddenly decide he hated blink-182. Plus it just didn't even make sense.

"FUCK YEAH!" Came a sudden shout from Phoenix, and Mike turned around as Phoenix and Joe whizzed past him. He didn't even have time to react before they both tackled Mark, making him shout in surprise and swing a punch at Joe's face.

Chester growled, standing up and glaring down at Tom, who was currently on the ground underneath Brad.

"Whoa whoa guys stop!" Mike exclaimed, but his bandmates ignored him. Well, those four, at least. Rob, as usual, was staying out of it - presumably still sitting on the wall with Travis.

"SAY HI TO GREEN DAY FOR US!" Chester yelled as he raised his bandaged fist. A second later, he was on the ground with Brad and Tom, where he just started fucking pummeling Tom. Despite a torn ligament in one hand and a broken wrist on the other, yes, he could somehow do that.

"WHAT THE FUCK?!" Mark yelled, trying to shove Phoenix off of him, only for Joe to punch him in the face. "IS THIS JUST SOME SORT OF REVENGE PORN FOR YOU GUYS? I DON'T LIKE MEN ON TOP OF ME!"

Come to think of it, Mike was kind of surprised that they hadn't really made any dick jokes yet. He thought that was just, like, second nature to them.

"YEAH, ME NEITHER, MARK!" Tom yelled over, his voice coming out higher-pitched than usual as Chester shoved him roughly onto his stomach. Still on his stomach, Tom glared over his shoulder at Chester. "Hey get off my ass!"

"Tom has sex with guys!" Mark shouted out quickly before he too was shoved to the ground.

Mike held in a sigh. Well, the absence of their sex jokes was nice while it lasted, at least. "Guys please..." He looked desperately at his bandmates. "Mark doesn't deserve it. Tom's still questionable. But let's just go home...please..?" The four, again, ignored him, and kept beating up the blink-182ers. For a brief moment, his eyes met Chester's. Mike blinked a few times as he saw the pure rage in Chester's eyes. Like he had just gotten thrown into the middle of a mosh pit in hell. And that probably _was_ how he felt.

There was a loud thud from somewhere, and Mike quickly broke away from Chester's gaze to look around erratically. He had no idea where the sound came from. Seeing as there was nothing obvious, he turned his attention back towards his bandmates. "Seriously guys, _stop._ Stop. Stop...STOP!"

They still didn't stop. Mike groaned in annoyance, running a hand through his hair. He started to go over to Phoenix and Joe, since Mark was definitely the more innocent one here. Grabbing Phoenix but the shirt, he tried to tug him off. "Phi, get _off_ him! You too, Mr. Hahn!" Mike knew that he sounded pissed off as hell right now, but he didn't care. He _was_ pissed off as hell. He couldn't believe that his bandmates were being this arrogant, and refused to listen to him.

Phoenix gave a grunt, pushing Mike off before turning back around and raising his fist over Mark. Joe also ignored him, continuing to punch Mark in the face - or, he tried, at least - Mark kept blocking him.

Mike froze as a yell cut through the air. It wasn't Chester for once, though. Actually, it sounded scarier than Chester. It was loud. Bitter. Dripping with anger and sarcasm. Even demonic.

"WHAT KIND OF DAY DO YOU WANT?!"

Joe and Phoenix both stopped beating up Mark, their eyes looking pretty wide. With a quick glance over at the others, Mike saw that Chester and Brad too had stopped punching Tom.

There were two more thuds from somewhere, and Mike finally found the source of the sound - three all-to-familiar musicians on top of a dumpster.

"THAT'S RIGHT! GREEN FUCKING DAY!"

"OH SHIT!" Chester yelled, instantly getting off of Tom. Brad was defiant though, continuing to pin Tom down as he sneered over at the other band. Joe and Phoenix exchanged an uncertain look with each other, but both continued to pin Mark down as they looked over at Green fucking Day.

"Wait wait wait," Mike called over, holding his hands up as he backed away from Phoenix, Joe, and Mark. "Listen. Listen. This is just a _huge_ misunderstanding-"

Billie just screamed at him, cutting him off. Mike blinked in surprise. Billie could scream like that? That was enough to rival Chester. What the hell happened to the timid introvert they were used to pushing around?

Mike realized with a jolt that Billie had jumped off the dumpster and was running straight for him. Again, he tried to plea. "WAIT! I-I DIDN'T TELL THEM TO-" He was, again, cut off. Billie punched him hard in the face, making him stumble and almost lose his balance. "I WAS TRYING TO GET THEM OFF-"

"I don't appreciate," the older albeit shorter man growled, giving Mike another punch in the face. "Getting phone calls..." Another punch. "About _you!_ " After another punch, Mike found himself on the ground with a rough shove. He hissed in pain as he felt his back hit the pavement, slowly blinking his eyes open to see Billie glaring down at him. He wasn't just pissed - he was _fucking pissed._

Phone calls? Mike stared up at him in confusion. The other two slowly walked over, also glancing down at Mike. "Travis," Tré answered briefly, then scoffed. "Not like we owe _you_ an answer, though."

Mike rolled a little to stare over at Travis. He was still sitting on the wall, phone in hand as Rob slowly hid behind the wall. Meeting Mike's eyes, Travis shrugged a little. "Well what was I _supposed_ to do?"

"NOT _THAT!_ " Mike snapped over at him. "ANYTHING BUT _THAT!_ "

Travis gave a slow shrug. "Sorry?" He didn't sound or look very sorry though.

Billie was suddenly shoved, stumbling a little as he tried to punch his attacker. Unsurprisingly to Mike, it was Brad. He assumed Brad was more than eager to finish what they had started. Within a few more seconds, the two of them were more or less locked in combat. Brad probably had the advantage of being taller and stronger, despite the irony with Billie's last name.

There was a thud, and Mike glanced back over to see the other Mike shoving Joe and Phoenix off of Mark. Joe sat up, his eyes wide in what was probably fear, scooting away from them. Phoenix got up with a growl, immediately swinging a punch at Mike, who dodged and then clocked him in the face. Phoenix didn't go down as easily this time, swinging to the side to dodge another punch. "Joe help me!"

Joe blinked a couple times, shaking his head before he stood up and narrowed his eyes. He went to throw a punch at Mike, but Mark suddenly grabbed his arm and threw him onto the pavement. Joe blinked, his eyes going wide again as Mark stood over him. Mark glared down at him. "20 bucks."

"W-What..?!"

"20 bucks!" Mark demanded. "Give me 20 bucks or I'm getting Tom to shove furniture up your butt!"

"No fucking way!" Joe kicked Mark in the shin, making him stumble a little. Mark kept standing, though. He stood over the turntablist for a few more moments, but Joe wouldn't budge. He obviously wasn't ready to give up 20 bucks.

Mike tried to stand up, but could only really get on his hands and knees. Brad was still preoccupied with Billie, so Tom had been free for a while, seeing as Chester had taken off. He was probably hiding with Rob or something.

"Hey Tom?" Mark glanced over at his bandmate. "You got the lube?"

"Yeah I keep it in my ass," Tom replied, walking over. "Who's butt am I putting furniture in this time?"

"His, unless he gives me 20 bucks." Mark stepped back, letting Tom stand over Joe. The turntablist's eyes widened more as Tom smirked at him.

"Hey Billie!" Mike called, sounding excited. "I lost another tooth!"

Billie grabbed Brad's wrists, turning to stare blankly over at his friend. "Mike oh my _god._ "

There was a sudden Chester-scream from above, and Mike looked up in terror as he saw Chester jump off a building. "CHESTER WHAT THE FUCK?!"

Everyone else looked up as he jumped off the roof. Whether it was a carefully planned attack or a suicide attempt, Mike wasn't sure. He quickly forced himself to stand, an adrenaline rush momentarily blocking out the pain. Squinting against the setting sun, he ran as he tried to judge where Chester would land, and prepared to break his fall again.

Well, he didn't need to do that, it seemed. Chester's reckless dive off the building actually _had_ been a carefully planned attack, a little to Mike's surprise. His guess had been leaning towards a suicide attempt.

He landed on Mark, reaching out to grab Tom and take him down as well. Phoenix and Mike (the other one, obviously), both flinched at that, backing away as Chester screamed again and tried to pummel the two blink-182 members. It looked like he'd wrapped his broken wrist in more bandages, so there was another plot hole sealed. Kinda.

"Shit shit shit Billieeeee!" Mike turned around as he heard Tré yelling. He flinched, expecting Tré to punch him or something, but the drummer just ran straight past him and went over to Billie. "The popo's gonna be fast on our ass!"

Billie grabbed Brad's wrists again to stop him from punching him as he stared at Tré. "Shit the cops?!"

"Yeah I just saw them a couple blocks over! They're coming!"

"SHIT!" Billie let go of Brad, quickly getting away from him as he ran off. "Mike we gotta get outta here!"

"What? Why?" Mike looked over from where he was still fighting Phoenix.

"Cops!"

"SHIT!"

M. Shinoda watched their panicked retreat. He was wondering why they were freaking out so much about the cops, but then realized they probably had a shit ton of drugs on them or something. Or maybe it had something to do with all the times Tré had shoplifted. Whatever. He didn't know and didn't care - all that mattered was that they were running away.

"Sorry Tom!" Billie called over. "Might wanna get out of here before the cops show up!"

"Oh shit there's cops?!" Tom's eyes went wide. Mike looked at him confusedly. Chester had been thrown off of him and Mark at some point, so they were both standing again.

So Tom was worried about the cops too? Now what did blink-182 have to hide?

It seemed they clearly had something to hide, whether it was drugs, alcohol, traffic violations or sexual assault allegations. Tom nudged Mark and said something to him, then they both ran off to collect Travis, and the three of them jumped over the wall and disappeared.

There was another thud and a clang as the other three jumped back up onto the dumpster and somehow scaled the building behind it. After a few more seconds, it was just Linkin Park left in the alley/sidewalk/industrial park/open area thing.

"Well uh...that was something," Chester broke the silence, rubbing his head as he slowly sat up. "Really, uh...something..."


	9. This Can't Be Happening

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the popo  
> Someone might wanna tell Billie that he dropped his bag of weed

> **So we never saw it coming,**
> 
> **When you ran from the fire.**
> 
> **You can try intimidation,**
> 
> **And you can try to ignore,**
> 
> **But when the time comes calling, yeah, you are gonna get yours.  
> **
> 
> **\- A Line in the Sand** _(The Hunting Party)_

Dusk was falling at that point. The sky was a mix of dark blues and yellows, and the street lamps were lit up. The air was crisp with the taste of nightfall. Chester, after watching the sky for a few seconds, glanced over at Mike. "Should we be getting out of here, too?"

"Why?" Brad countered, arms folded across his chest. "We don't have anything to hide."

"Yeah, nothing except all the drugs Chester's on," Mike mumbled to him, glancing at Chester briefly before meeting Brad's eyes again.

"It's not illegal to be on drugs, technically," Brad pointed out quietly. "It's just illegal to have them."

They could all hear the police sirens at that point, steadily getting louder. Mike sighed, glancing down the street towards where it sounded like they were coming from. "Forget it. There's no time to run."

There really wasn't. About 5 seconds after Mike had spoken, a police cruiser pulled up. Sighing again, he did his best to look neutral as possible, reaching up to fix his hair a little bit. Joe and Phoenix were standing further back, both looking pretty ruffled from the fight. Brad was standing behind Mike, holding onto his shoulder for a little bit of support. Rob was...where was Rob? Mike glanced around, but didn't see the drummer anywhere. Behind the wall still, maybe?

Chester stepped closer to Mike, folding his arms across his chest. He seemed kind of uncomfortable as the engine stopped and the car doors opened. Mike shifted a little as he felt Chester press his shoulder against his. He felt a little sandwiched between Brad and Chester, not that he really minded. He considered them his closest friends, after all.

"Hello officers." Mike hoped he didn't sound too nervous as the two police officers started to approach them. "Can we help you?"

"We've received reports about a commotion in the area," one of the officers replied as he walked over to them, the other cop following. "You boys been fighting?"

"Uh, just been messing around, y'know." Chester's voice sounded a little strained and high-pitched.

"There were 6 other people that just took off," Brad grumbled. "Green Day went that way, and blink-182 went that way." He pointed in the corresponding direction to where each band had run off.

"Green Day and blink-182 in the same place? That sounds like a fever dream!" The second cop laughed. "So you boys mean to tell me that you were just fighting with the two most famous punk rock bands, eh?"

"Look, it's a long story," Mike sighed, feeling the day's exhaustion start to catch up with him. "But it's over now. We're sorry for causing so much commotion."

"Aren't these guys Linkin Park?" The first cop mumbled to the second one, who blinked, observing them for a moment before answering. "I believe so, sir."

"Yeah, we are," Mike answered. "But it's not really important."

"We're famous, but we aren't celebrities," Brad added pointedly.

"Oh, of course!" The cop glanced around the 5 of them some more for a few moments. Mike shifted awkwardly, looking down towards the ground. Chester felt like he was shivering against him. Brad stood stiff, his gaze unreadable. Joe and Phoenix just paced around in small, confined circles.

"Well, alright." The cop tipped his cap up. "You boys better be heading home now. It's getting late."

"Yes, of course." Mike nodded at the cop, dipping his head a little. "Thanks for the warning, officer," Chester called as the two cops turned around and started to walk back towards their car. When they looked away, Chester let out a heavy, relieved sigh. "Holy shit," he whispered.

"See?" Brad asked, stepping forward to glance at Mike and Chester. "I told you everything would be fine. We haven't done anything wrong."

"HOLD UP!"

The three of them stiffened as they heard the cop yell. The cops appeared to be looking at something on the ground. One of them bent over to pick it up, and the other shone a flashlight on it.

"Oh no," Mike whispered, feeling his heart beat against his chest. "Holy shit no." It was a bag full of weed.

The cop, still holding the bag of weed, turned around to glance at them, an eyebrow raised. "Haven't done anything wrong, ey?"

"I-It's not ours!" Mike exclaimed. It really wasn't though. They didn't smoke weed. Chester did, like, acid and heroin or something, but not weed. He knew exactlywho _did_ do weed though - the band that was _literally named after weed_ , perhaps?

"That's what they all say," the cop replied snarkily, already heading back to the three of them. Mike's eyes widened as he saw the cop taking out a pair of handcuffs. "N-No, you got it all wrong. We don't do weed! I-It was Green Day, they must've dropped-"

"Save it for the judge." Mike felt the cold metal of the handcuffs around his wrists. His heart was beating so hard in his chest he thought it would burst. His head felt dizzy, and he realized he could barely stand or breathe. No. This couldn't be happening.

"You three are under arrest for possession of marijuana. You have the right to remain silent."

Chester and Brad got the handcuffs too, but it appeared that Phoenix and Joe had made a run for it. Mike glanced backwards to where they had been standing, hoping that they'd gotten away.

"Watch your head." Mike was forcefully shoved into the back of the cop car, along with Brad and Chester. The door slammed shut, and they were locked in.

"Holy shit," Mike gasped. His head was still spinning, and his chest felt tight. "Holy shit holy shit holy shit."

"Mike?" Brad gave him a concerned look.

"This can't be happening." His chest was getting tighter and tighter. It felt like he was having an asthma attack.

"Look, we'll get out of this, alright? We're totally innocent here."

"How are we supposed to prove that it's not ours?!"

"I don't know, Mike, but we're innocent. Just calm down, we'll get out of this somehow...Phi, Joe and Rob are still out there."

"Shit man I hope they don't try to drug test us," Chester, after being silent during the whole ordeal, finally said something. "I hope you're right about that 'not illegal to be high' shit, Brad..."


	10. You Called Your MOM?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mike's scared. He's never been in a jail cell before. And he's INNOCENT. Hopefully he can survive the night, as long as he has Chester and Brad with him.

> **Bring me home in a blinding dream,**
> 
> **Through the secrets that I have seen.**
> 
> **Wash the sorrow from off my skin,**
> 
> **And show me how to be whole again.**
> 
> **\- Castle of Glass** _(Living Things)_

Mike sighed as he sat on the cold floor, boredly kicking the wall. Chester paced in circles somewhere near him, and Brad was sitting next to Mike. He had his knees pulled up against his chest, looking agitated and bored at the same time. They were still waiting for this stupid teenager to finish his phone call so they could get theirs. He'd been chatting with what sounded like a friend for at least 10 minutes by now.

Finally, a cop cut him off, hanging up the phone. "Move along. We got other people waiting."

The kid scoffed at him, sticking his tongue out as another cop took him back to a holding cell. With that, the cop walked over to the cell that the three Linkin Park members were in. His keys clanged against the metal bars as he fumbled with them and unlocked it. With a loud creak, the bars were slid open. "Alright, who's making a call first?"

"I am." Mike stood up and walked over to the cop. They'd already agreed on Mike making the first call. He tried to stand still as the bars slammed shut behind him. The cop gestured with a hand, and Mike followed him to the phone. Mike exhaled shakily. His body felt jittery with nerves all over. As he tried to dial a number, he felt and saw his hands shaking. He finally dialed in the number, waiting nervously as the phone began to ring. Half of him almost _wished_ she didn't pick up.

"Hello?"

"Uh...eh...hey, mom." Mike chuckled nervously. "It's Mike."

"Mike? Oh Mike!" His mother sounded happy to hear his voice. "How are you? Your father and I were just wondering about you!"

"I...thanks, mom." Maybe he should've called his wife instead. Telling his mom this was a lot harder than he thought it would be. "Listen, mom, there's a lot going on, and we got in this huge fight. Someone left a bag of weed behind and now Chester, Brad and I are in jail for it."

There was silence on the other end. Mike gulped nervously. He couldn't stand the silence, so he went on. "We're innocent, mom. They said the bail for us is $350. I-I can pay you back after."

"Michael Kenji Shinoda I am not busting your ass out of jail cause you and your friends wanna go smoke weed!"

"What? N-No! Mom! We're-" Mike fell silent as the phone beeped, and he was left with a dial tone. He stood there for a moment in shock, holding the phone. The cop took the phone from him and hung it up, then gave him a nudge. 

Defeated, Mike shoved his hands into his pockets and walked sullenly back to the holding cell. The guard opened it to let him back in, then gestured for Chester to come. 

Mike turned around as Chester walked by, grabbing his arm. "Chester."

Chester raised an eyebrow at him as he stopped, staring questioningly at his friend. After all, whenever Mike called him "Chester" instead of "Chaz", it was usually something serious.

"Call God," Mike whispered.

Chester looked even more confused at that, giving Mike a full-on "wtf" look before turning and following the cop. The bars closed behind him, and Mike turned around and walked over to Brad, quickly forgetting the random exchange.

Brad looked up as Mike walked over to sit next to him. "How'd it go?"

"My mom thinks we just got caught smoking and want her to bail us out," Mike sighed, slumping against the wall. Brad sat up a little, raising an eyebrow. "Wait what? You called your _mom_?"

"Y-Yeah..."

" _Why?_ "

"Cause I'm scared Brad, alright?!" Mike glared up at him. "I've never been in jail before or gotten in trouble with the law! I always did good in school and shit, you know?!"

The jingle of keys and clang of the bars opening interrupted them, and they saw Chester coming back. "Samantha told me to eat shit and die," he reported.

"Why the fuck did you call your ex-wife?!" Brad groaned in exasperation, rubbing his face as he stood up. "We only get one phone call, you know. I'm gonna call Rob." The cops had given him crutches for his knees, so he could stop dragging himself around everywhere and leaning on Mike. He followed the cop to make his phone call, and the guard shut the cage again.

"So who'd you call?" Chester asked as he plopped down next to Mike.

"My mom." Mike stared blankly at the wall in front of him. "She's not bailing us out."

Chester looked up at the ceiling after that, humming absently to himself. Mike kept staring at the wall, the sound of Chester's humming quickly fading as he became lost in his own thoughts. Wow. His mom being angry with him like that hurt a lot more than he thought it would. He'd have to stop by to visit his parents after they got out of all this. Set things straight, make it up to them, all that.

Brad came back after a minute or two. He said nothing as he settled down next to Mike on his other side. Mike was about to ask him what Rob had said, but the guard spoke before he could. "Alright, you three are gonna have to spend the night here until we get this all figured out."

"W-What?!" Mike blurted out. "What do you mean we have to stay the night?!"

"I mean that I'm going home," the cop replied with a shrug, turning around and shutting off the bright fluorescent lights. "Adios."

"What?!" Mike stood up, running over to the bars and grabbing them. "We're innocent! There isn't even a bed in here! Or a toilet! What the fuck!"

The cop had already left though, and the three of them were locked in for the night. "Oh my god this can't be happening."

"Mike." He felt Brad grab his shoulder. "Rob's on his way."

"How?! The police station's closed!"

"He's got Phoenix and Joe with him," Brad explained, trying to calm his friend down. "They're gonna get us out of here."

"You realize they record the phone calls, right Brad?" Chester called over from where he was looking bored on the floor. "You probably just got them arrested, too."

"I know that, Chester." Brad blinked slowly. "I didn't say 'hey Rob come break us out'. I mean, there was a fucking cop standing right there. I set up codes with Rob a long time ago in case shit like this ever happened. I asked him to put the bread in the freezer and to feed my cat. Which roughly means 'we're in jail and I need you to break us out this way'."

"...What." Chester just stared blankly at him. Even Mike was confused on this one. "Since when did you guys have secret codes?"

"Uh...I meant to tell you a while ago, but you were just, like, really in the zone writing raps at the time, so I didn't wanna interrupt," Brad admitted. "And I just never really remembered until now. Sorry."

"So can you tell me now?"

Brad glanced up to make sure there were no cameras around. Even so, he grabbed Mike by the arm and pulled him to the corner of the cell, practically whispering. "Bread in the freezer means we're in jail. Clothes in the dryer means we're kidnapped. Fold the laundry means we're stuck somewhere, and for whatever reason can't just say 'we're stuck here'. Like, if someone was pointing a gun at us or something, I don't know. Check on the meatloaf means we're hurt really bad somewhere. Make sure the sink isn't running applies to anything else."

He paused for air before going on with the explanation. "Feed the cat means break us out. We've already been over our breakout plans several times. We have more than one. It depends how you say it though to indicate which plan. Like, _feed_ the cat, or feed the _cat_. I'll tell you the rest of our codes later." He sat down on the ground next to Chester, sighing. "Should probably tell the rest of the guys, too."

"Yeah," Mike agreed, leaning against the wall as he continued to stand. Sitting down right now made him feel nauseous. "So how are they getting us out of here?"

"You'll see," Brad replied quietly, his eyes closed.

The three of them sat for what felt like hours, although it was probably only 15 minutes at the most. At one point, after watching Mike pace back and forth for quite some time, Chester dug through his pockets, retrieving a small notepad and a pen. "Here," he called, holding the notepad and pen up. "Do your thing."

Mike glanced over at him, catching the notepad and pen as Chester tossed it to him. "Thanks Chaz..." Writing raps usually helped take his mind off things, anyway. So he finally stopped pacing, settling down to sit between Chester and Brad as he started to write.


	11. Did You Just KIDNAP Dexter?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Looks like they won't be spending the night here after all. However, Phoenix and Joe have a lot of explaining to do...

> **It doesn't even matter how hard you try.**
> 
> **Keep that in mind, I designed this rhyme,**
> 
> **To remind myself how I tried so hard.**
> 
> **In spite of the way you were mockin' me,**
> 
> **Actin' like I was part of your property.**
> 
> **\- In The End** _(Hybrid Theory)_

"So what've you got so far?" Chester called over as he looked at Mike, who was standing up, leaning against the wall as he stared at his notepad.

"Uh..." Mike trailed off for a few seconds as he reread what he had wrote before sharing it. "It's like a virus in my head, quickly becoming widespread. Your heart is made of lead and I want bread. Don't think I'm well-fed. Try the ketchup, motherfucker." He blinked down at the notepad. "I think I need food."

Right on cue, Brad's stomach growled loudly.

"Maybe we _should've_ eaten the pizza..." Mike groaned as he folded the notepad and slipped it into his pocket.

"No," Brad retorted. "That was _not_ edible."

"Well it's better than nothing."

"I'd rather starve."

"Fine! We'll starve, then." Mike rolled his eyes, leaning against the wall with his arms folded across his stomach.

"The pizza was actually pretty good though," Chester threw in from where he was still sitting on the ground. Brad looked like he was about to protest to that claim, but the three of them fell silent and looked through the bars at the sound of a metallic clang. There were hushed voices that followed, along with a terrified scream as someone landed on the ground with a loud thud.

"Shut up!"

Mike sighed in relief as he heard Joe's voice.

"Man, what the hell-" A slightly unfamiliar voice was cut off by another clang and thud.

There was hushed whispering that Mike wasn't able to make out, so he just crept closer to the bars and peered through them, trying to see through the darkness. It sounded like they were getting closer.

"Hrrrrnnggh Joe," Phoenix groaned quietly. "We're trying to sneak around but Rob's dummy thicc and the clap from his ass cheeks keeps alerting the guards."

"Stop it!" Rob whined a little loudly, which earned him an angry "SHHH!" from both of his bandmates.

"Right, so uh...where are they..." Joe trailed off as the three of them stopped at the cell across from theirs.

"Here!" Mike whisper-yelled, banging on one of the bars. "We're here!"

They turned upon noticing him. "Oh hey Mike!" Joe smiled, waving. "Don't worry. We'll get you guys out."

As they walked over to the bars, Mike noticed that there was a fourth person with them. Upon a closer inspection, he realized it was Dexter from The Offspring.

"I'm sorry," Mike began, narrowing his eyes at his three bandmates, although he eyed Joe and Phoenix in particular. "Did you just _kidnap_ Dexter?"

"Well yeah." Phoenix answered like it was obvious. "He has a handful of friends in prison, so he'd obviously know the ins and outs of this jail."

"...Really?" Mike couldn't believe that this was Phoenix's logic. Phoenix, however, seemed to think that there was nothing wrong with his reasoning.

"Hey, remember at that one concert where he said 'prison is a great place to make new friends'?" Joe chimed in to defend Phoenix. "Well, he did!"

"That doesn't mean I know everything about every single jail, man," Dexter finally said something, looking pretty annoyed. He started to go on, but Phoenix cut him off with an angry hiss and a hard punch in the stomach. "Shut the hell up!"

"Phi!" Mike growled. "Cut it out!"

Phoenix kind of gave him a defiant look, but stepped off anyway. Dexter muttered something, glaring at Phoenix as he held his stomach.

Seeing as he obviously wasn't going to get anywhere with Phoenix or Joe, Mike narrowed his eyes in exasperation and turned to glance at Rob. "Why did you let them do this?"

"Uh...huh?" Rob blinked blankly at him.

"Why the fuck did you let them kidnap Dexter?"

Rob offered a shrug in response, shoving his hands into his pockets and glancing off to the side.

"Oh who cares?" Brad scoffed. "Just get us outta here already."

Mike turned around to glare at him. "Brad."

"What?"

Mike narrowed his eyes more. "They _kidnapped_ Dexter."

"And?" Brad raised an eyebrow.

"...And?!" Mike threw his hands up, glaring back and forth between his 5 bandmates. "Am I the only one that sees the problem here?!"

"Yeah." Phoenix glanced boredly at Mike. Joe nodded in agreement. Rob looked off to the side, avoiding his gaze. Brad blinked slowly at him, obviously exasperated. Chester blinked a few times, shrugging when Mike glared at him.

"I can't believe you guys." Mike scoffed, glaring around the 5 of them once more before looking at Chester again. "Even you, Chaz?!"

"Well, I mean..." Chester trailed off for a moment as he gestured at Joe and Phoenix. "What'd you expect from those two?"

"Only the best," Brad answered sarcastically, since Mike didn't really know how to respond. Obviously, he'd never "expect" Phoenix and Joe to kidnapsomeone.

"Prepare for trouble," Phoenix replied, taking a step backwards.

"And make it double!" Joe added before quickly turning and kicking Dexter in the crotch. "Now let them out!"

Dexter growled in response, looking pretty pissed off as he bent over in pain. But he obeyed anyway, grabbing the lock of the cell as he pulled some sort of tool out of his pocket. Mike stepped back, watching him as he picked the lock rather quickly. In less than 2 minutes, the lock was opened, and Dexter pushed the cage open.

"YO WHAT THE FUCK?!" One of the inmates shouted, banging on the bars of his own cage. "LET US OUT TOO!"

"HEY ME TOO!" The teenager from earlier added.

"YOOO DEXTER!" Another inmate shouted, making Dexter flinch. "Uh...I don't know you, man-"

"I _told_ you so!" Phoenix shouted before punching Dexter in the stomach again.

"Phi!" Mike snapped as he, Chester and Brad left the cell. Mike had an arm hooked under Brad's though, since the crutches were kind of slowing him down.

"Sorry," Phoenix replied apathetically as Dexter hissed and doubled over again.

"Let's just get outta here," Mike sighed quietly, shaking his head and rubbing his forehead. "Before alarms or whatever start going off. We'll figure out what to do afterwards..."


	12. I Just Wanna Go Home!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mike has an emotional breakdown in the Denny's parking lot at 12am.

> **Everything falls apart,**
> 
> **Even the people who never frown eventually break down.**
> 
> **Everything has to end,**
> 
> **You'll soon find we're out of time left to watch it all unwind.  
> **
> 
> **-P5hng Me A*wy (or Pushing Me Away)** _(Reanimation (or Hybrid Theory))_

Mike sighed, glancing down at his watch as his bandmates continued to argue with each other. 12:32am. It was fucking 12:32am, and they were in the Denny's parking lot. At least he was able to make Phoenix and Joe let Dexter go, so he wouldn't have to be in the middle of all this. Mike had thanked him for freeing them, even though he'd probably done it against his will.

"We can still go to Lincoln Park!" Chester snapped at Brad. "It'll be the perfect end to this shitty day. And the cops aren't gonna get us there!"

"It's 400 miles away," Brad sighed, obviously irritated. "We gotta lay low for a while. I mean, not for nothing, but we _did_ just break out of jail. We should get out of the state as soon as possible."

"Well, it was your idea!" Chester retorted.

"Would you rather have stayed in there until they found all the drugs you're on?" Brad shot back. "You're fucking welcome!"

"You said it's not illegal to be on drugs!"

"No Chester drugs are bad!" Phoenix exclaimed.

"Guys-" Rob whined, tugging on Brad's jacket sleeve, but Brad ignored him as he continued arguing with Chester. Rob, defeated, sighed and walked over to Mike. "Can _you_ make them stop?" He asked quietly.

Mike didn't reply, instead crossing his arms and glaring at their other bandmates. Rob scratched the back of his head somewhat-awkwardly, turning to follow Mike's gaze.

"Y'know I agree with both of you," Joe butted in. "We definitely need to get out of the city, at least, but Santa Monica's pretty far from here. So we can go there until we come up with a plan to get out of California."

Mike blinked, raising an eyebrow. Joe was actually making sense? And what city were they even in now, anyway? Mike had lost track. He figured they were either still in Oakland or Poway. Maybe even Long Beach.

"Forget that," Phoenix scoffed, punching his fist against his other hand. "We should go beat up the guys that got us into this mess in the first place!"

"Uh...you mean ourselves..?" Rob ventured.

"Shut the fuck up Rob!" Phoenix snapped, making Rob flinch and give an "O-Okay" as he grabbed onto Mike's arm.

Mike sighed again, blinking very slowly. "Phi," he finally spoke.

Phoenix looked over at him. "Yeah?"

Mike, again, blinked slowly.

Phoenix cocked an eyebrow, then scoffed and rolled his eyes. "Sorry Rob."

"I-It's fine," Rob answered timidly.

"...So we're going to Lincoln Park then?" Chester asked after an awkward silence.

"NO!" Brad glared over at him.

"Forget Lincoln Park," Phoenix said loudly. "What we gotta do is go find those pop-punkers so we can shank them in the parking lot!"

"Uh...what?" Chester glanced concernedly at the bass player.

"ENOUGH!" Mike snapped. Everyone flinched and stared wide-eyed at him; Rob even almost fell over. They definitely weren't used to Mike, their chill, level-headed rapper guy, yelling in anger. "Arguing isn't going to get us anywhere," he muttered, shaking his head.

"So what's _your_ idea, then?" Chester retorted coolly. Mike glanced up, a little surprised to see Chester glaring at him. What did _he_ do?!

"I..." Mike trailed off. Chester raised an eyebrow, waiting for him to continue. "I..." Mike gave a heavy, tired sigh. He collapsed onto the pavement, burying his face in his hands. "I just wanna go home!" He wailed.

Complete silence followed his outburst. Even Phoenix and Joe, who had been playing rock paper scissors, fell silent and stared down at him as he had a full-on emotional breakdown in the Denny's parking lot.

"Oh, Mike..." Rob got on his knees next to him, patting his shoulder. "It's okay to cry."

"Shut up, Rob!" Mike sobbed angrily.

"Hey, listen." He heard Brad's voice on his other side as the guitarist knelt next to him. "Phi's got a plan."

"What?" Mike glanced up, rubbing his eyes. His voice sounded raw from the sobbing he'd been doing. He was scared of what Phoenix might suggest, and mentally braced himself.

"So, uh...that Dexter guy, right?" Phoenix started, hands shoved into his pockets. "He's got a pilot's license."

"He does?" Mike asked, confused. "Really?"

Phoenix nodded. "Yep. I heard he even did a solo flight around the world in 10 days."

"W...Where are you going with this, Phi?" Mike scoffed lightly, throwing a hand up. It had been a very long day. He wasn't following any of this. Right now he was practically forcing his eyes to stay open.

Phoenix smiled. "We'll get him to fly us back to L.A., and then we'll bring you home. I'll even tuck you in and let Chester give you a goodnight kiss, if you want."

"I'm sorry what?" Chester cut in, glaring over at Phoenix.

Mike sighed, sitting up. "Alright, uh...sure, except for that last part." He cocked an eyebrow. "That's kinda weird."

"Uh, yeah," Chester agreed, his expression similar to Mike's.

"Where is he gonna get the plane, though?" Brad questioned, changing the awkward subject as he sat up next to Mike and leaned on his shoulder a little bit.

"The airport?" Phoenix shrugged.

"You...you can't just _get_ a plane from the airport." Brad ruffled his hair, looking completely perplexed.

Phoenix, again, shrugged. "Sure you can."

"No, no you _can't_." Brad just looked more confused now.

When Phoenix just shrugged again, Brad looked around at everyone else. Chester, Joe, and Rob seemed completely neutral, like they just accepted the idea of stealing a plane from the airport. The only other person that looked perplexed was Mike. "That's _illegal,_ " he mumbled, shaking his head.

"So is busting out of jail," Phoenix replied evenly. "Yet you guys still did that."

"Only because we were innocent!" Brad shot back. "You were the ones that busted us out, anyway!"

"So where is Dexter?" Joe cut in, glancing over at Phoenix as he walked up to stand next to him. Phoenix fell silent, looking like he'd been about to keep arguing with Brad. He stared blankly at the turntablist for a few seconds before his eyes suddenly flashed in what seemed to be rage. "He said he was going to the bar!"

"Alright, Phi, hold on." Brad stood up and started to go over to Phoenix, but he wasn't quick enough. Phoenix had already stepped back and screamed "LET'S GO GET HIM!" before suddenly turning around and bolting off. Joe ran after him, and Brad quickly followed, trying to stop them. 

Mike sighed as he watched the three of them run off, glancing up at Chester. "I guess we're going after them?"

Chester blinked, looking absent for a moment before shaking his head and replying. "Uhh...yeah, yeah."

"Why?" Rob mumbled, sounding slightly annoyed. "We can just go find a motel and stay there for the night."

"Mike wants to go home," Chester answered before Mike could say anything. "And I really don't think we should be staying in this city."

"But I'm _tired_ ," Rob sighed, looking up at Chester pleadingly. "I'm usually asleep by now."

"Sorry Rob, didn't mean to keep you up past your bed time." Mike gave him a lighthearted nudge in the ribs before standing up and stretching his arms. "Yeah," he agreed, looking at Chester once he was done stretching. "We gotta go get the guys first though. We'll figure out what to do from there."


End file.
